Hahaha!

So I went to the store today. For no real reason… mainly because I wanted to walk outside, and walking to the store gives me an excuse to enjoy the sunny weather.

By the time I made it to the store, I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom. I came out, and figured it’s time to go home. While walking out the store, a lottery machine caught my eye :-). I had $60 on me, all in $20 bills. I was going to purchase one ticket for the fun of it, until I noticed a sign saying that the machine doesn’t give any change. So it was either buy a bunch of tickets for $20, or walk.

After deliberation, I decided to put in a $20. I got 9 tickets, at different price ranges ($1, $1, $2, $2, $2, $3, $3, $3, $3). I walked home with them in my hands, partly thinking I’m a complete fool, and partly thinking this is going to be totally sweet.

About half way home, I decided to send out the intention. I made the decision to make a profit. I didn’t want to go for the jackpot, because it was too unbelievable for me at that point. But I could realistically intend on making a profit, and not feel guilty about lying to myself :-P. I also visualized myself making this post online, announcing that my intention came true.

When I got home, I laid out all the tickets, and told each one that it was a winner. I also told the tickets that the total of all the prizes would be more than $20. Then I started scratching, from cheapest to most expensive.

The first ticket I scratched, I won $3. So I was feeling really awesome :-).

The second ticket was a dud. And so were the next 4 tickets.

The 7th ticket I won $10. So my prizes totaled $13, with 2 tickets left.

My 8th ticket won $24. And my 9th was a dud.

So: I spent $20 on scratch off tickets, intended to make a profit, and post my success online.

I scratched the tickets, won $37, and am posting this online.

I hate being right sometimes >:-D.

I’ve become convinced I can win the lottery :-).

My obsession started at the beginning of March. I had heard on the news that the MegaMillions jackpot was at a record $390 million. I was visiting my father in Georgia, and he asked me what I would do if I won that much money. I’m sure his question was just an innocent way to talk about something for a little bit. I think I may have taken the question a little too seriously :-).

I started to really think about what I would do with that much money. What would I really do. It dominated my thoughts for quite a while.

Then I remembered talking to my friend about the lottery, a few months prior to my Georgia visit. We were talking about how reality is not some machine, and that modern science doesn’t give it enough credit. I had told him about a news article I had read, where a lady won the lottery twice. I tried to get my friend to understand that this simply should NEVER REALISTICALLY HAPPEN - according to statistics and probability. The fact that it has happened is evidence that things aren’t what they seem.

Thinking about the lady winning twice, and thinking about the question of what I would do with $390 million dollars… I became convinced that if someone else can do it - then so can I. I started playing MegaMillions, and made a goal to figure out how others have won, and how I could win myself.

All this thinking led me to a realization. I realized that randomness doesn’t truly exist. I may post on this idea later, but the general idea is that nothing in this world is truly random. Where the modern worlds sees random occurrences, what they’re really witnessing is a subconscious choice - but they can’t figure it out, so they just simplify it to this idea of “random”, so they don’t have to think about it.

Once I had made this realization, the next time I played the lottery I won. $3 to be exact (odds 1 in 141). I was pretty happy, and I kept thinking about this idea of randomness - and won again the next drawing. $7 this time (odds 1 in 306). Back to back, the “odds” of winning twice is 1 in 43,146. You may disagree with the math, but the fact still remains that I had only played 5 tickets at that point, and 2 of them had been winners.

That sealed the deal.

Since then, I’ve continued to play the lottery, but haven’t won yet. I’m convinced that I can win. If someone can win twice, I can win once. And if I can win once, I can win a hundred times.

It’s very interesting to me. I’ll post on it later :-).

I might have a slight advantage when it comes to talking with your subconscious, because I’ve always talked to myself, ever since I was a little kid. However, it’s never too late to pick up a crazed habit :-).

Now, in the past I have claimed that the internal dialogue was between your conscious mind, and your subconscious mind. Which is true in a sense. However, I’ve experienced some odd events that make me think it also might be a little more. In this experience, I asked for help during an OBE from what I thought was my subconscious mind, however - two pairs of hands actually grabbed me and yanked me out. In this experience, I had made a deal with my subconscious mind, and experienced hands pulling me along during the following OBE as well.

The point being: sometimes when I communicate with what I think is my subconscious mind, I get external help from “someone else” during OBEs. So I might not just be communicating with my subconscious mind when I talk to myself. Judge for yourself.

Either way, until there is some more evidence that I’m talking to an external entity, we might as well just continue using the label of “subconscious”. So anyways… how DO you talk to your subconscious?

Talking to your subconscious is easy. Just use that internal voice you have, inside your head. Let that voice speak for your entire mind. By that I mean - don’t be thinking about a million things, and also try to talk to your subconscious mind. Focus on what you want to say, and say it with your entire mind. No side thoughts. Straight, clear, and to the point.

That’s the easy part. Now how do you hear a reply from your subconscious mind?

Well, first, you have to listen. Some people have zero listening skills. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, where you were trying to tell them something, but they just didn’t listen? They kept interrupting, trying to make their own point, and wouldn’t really give any consideration to what you were saying? Pretty annoying stuff. That’s how your mind works when you first start trying to listen to your subconscious. Your mind keeps trying to interrupt.

So you have to learn to just SHUT UP AND LISTEN. This is a passive state of mind. You shouldn’t be thinking, “Ok, gotta be quiet, gotta listen… ok be quiet… time to listen.” No. Just like in a normal conversation, you have to drop what you’re thinking, and start taking in what the other person is saying. Same idea here. Shut your mind up, and just wait and listen for a response.

A lot of people get to this step, and don’t hear anything. Chances are you won’t hear a voice, so don’t wait around for one. If you’re just starting out, instead of waiting to hear a voice, listen for an emotion. We’re used to listening for words, or talking, or something vocal. Take that same action of listening, but instead of listening for words, listen for an emotion.

Your subconscious mind is going to deliver an emotion to you. It’s one big lump of solid emotion. No words attached. Sometimes pictures and videos will be attached, but when you’re just starting out, chances are it will just be a big emotional turd.

This emotional turd is the response. Now, when you feel this emotion, it will pass by pretty quickly. Even the longer responses pass by in just a few seconds. The quicker responses pass by in a second or less. If you’re listening for that ball of emotion, then you will feel it enter into your awareness.

If you don’t feel any emotions, or it passes by to quickly, then just ask again. And again. And again and again and again. Keep asking. Your mind will start to whine and complain about how annoying it is to keep asking the same question over and over again. Keep asking. You’ll tire your mind out eventually :-). That little voice that complains is just a little bitch. Show that bitch whose boss. YOU ARE BOSS. Not that whiny voice. If you demand an answer, and refuse to think about anything else until you get an answer, then you will be delivered an answer. The louder you ask, the louder it returns. By “loud”, I don’t mean the volume of your internal voice. I mean the amount of energy you put into it. And by asking the same question over and over, you keep adding more and more mental energy to the same question.

Once you receive an emotional response, you can either take this emotional ball as the answer, or you can try to translate it into words. I personally like to translate it into words most of the time. Sometimes the emotions are too complex to translate into words, so the best I can do is to translate it into pictures, or experiences I’ve had in the past. And sometimes I can’t translate it to anything… I’m forced to just deal with the pure emotion. No problem.

Think of this emotional ball as a meal that you’re digesting all at once. You can taste everything in one instant. You can taste some chicken, some mashed potatoes, some french fries… all at once. Now, if you want, you can pull apart this taste, and experience each taste by itself. Or you can just take one big gulp. With the emotional ball, you will feel a dash of happiness, some alertness, some laughter, some guidance, and a bunch of other emotions that simply don’t have words. All at once. Pull it apart if you wish, and try to find the right words for the feelings… or just take the response in one big gulp.

Don’t think about it too much. A lot of this is emotional in nature, and if you become over-analytical, then it sort of defeats the purpose. You should have an analytical side, and an emotional side, both working together. Don’t let the analytical side dominate, and smother the emotional response.

It is a strange process to describe. However, it can be learned. I know this - because I learned it myself :-). When you first start off, there is going to be a lot of uncertainty. Don’t worry about it. It took me a good month to start getting something going for sure. Once you get over the initial uncertainty, then it becomes easier, because you can pinpoint what you need to work on. When you first start off, there will be a lot of confusion over whether you’re making the answer up yourself, or whether it’s coming from your subconscious. It’s ok to be confused. Just keep practicing, and it’ll become more clear as time goes on. Don’t let the temporary confusion stop you from continuing. You will work through it if you keep at it.

As you become better at this listening process, you will begin to notice a lot of mental functions that you didn’t even realize you could perform. When I look at what goes on inside my head, it’s not just thoughts. It’s not just words. It’s an entire universe of acrobatics using pictures, emotions, experiences, colors, voices, metaphors, structure, thought patterns, belief systems, pathways, translations, and a bunch of other functions that have no words. I didn’t use to be like this. I’ve come to this point with a lot of practice communicating with my subconscious, and watching the internal working of my mind.

Keep practicing, and keep asking questions :-).