You’ll have to forgive me.

I was lying in bed, about to fall asleep, when suddenly a bolt of lightning struck me.

My subconscious made a comment to me. A very calm and seemingly innocent comment. Perhaps I’m just insane :-). That’s a much more comforting explanation at this point, it seems :-).

My subconscious revealed the metaphor guiding me these past months. And now I can come to no other conclusion than this reality is a form of dream. This idea is so overplayed in religion that it leaves a bad taste on my mouth to say it, but now I’ve seen it with my eyes… so I have no other choice but to admit it’s true.

Ok whoa whoa whoa. Hehehe. I am insane :-). Or maybe I just mind-fucked myself. I don’t know.

There is a deeper meaning behind our personal realities. Everything does happen for a reason.

Look… I don’t want to go into the realization I made, because it’s pretty personal, and I don’t feel like spilling my heart all over the internet for everyone to see :-P. I mean, I like you guys and everything, but not that much :-P. But I can break it down from another perspective that is understandable, now that I have some hindsight.

When I say that “reality is a form of dream”, what I’m talking about is how dreams have deeper meaning when looked at from a metaphorical perspective. So does this reality.

It’s very interesting to analyze your own dreams and see how things manifest. For example, dreaming of taking a shit can represent unloading emotional waste that’s built up inside of yourself, and be a sign of growth and psychological cleansing. So in real life, perhaps you are dealing with old problems that you feel need to be taken care of for you to move on, and tying up loose ends. As a result, one night you dream of taking a massive shit in a bathroom. You wake up thinking, “Now where did that come from? Very bizarre!” But there is an underlying meaning. It’s a metaphor.

So, what I’m saying is that this reality also has this same exact sort of deeper meaning. What we manifest in this reality is a reflection of who we are and what we are dealing with - just like in dreams. It’s a metaphor. This is what intention manifestation tries to talk about (but fails, I believe).

What I’m saying is that this reality uses the exact same metaphor function that dreams use. The exact same function. This is why this reality is a form of dream. This is also why intention manifestation actually produces results. It hijacks and focuses this metaphorical function of reality to produce an outcome.

I don’t know if I’m explaining this correctly or not. Maybe I’m not giving enough examples. Let me try again.

If you’re walking outside, what do you do if it suddenly starts to rain? Do you run for shelter? Do you pause and enjoy the sprinkles? Depending on your personal reality, this reaction means different things. If you run for shelter, perhaps you do this because you feel you need to run from your problems. Other problems you experience in life, you run from. Do you curse the weather? This might mean you feel you’re being treated unjustly by “God”. The weather could represent a system that is out of man’s control, and therefore only under the control of “God”. If it rains on you, you feel that “God” is unjustly making your life miserable, so you curse the rain. It’s a metaphor. Do you see how this is the same function as dreaming as well?

It’s all connected. All the ideas in your head, all the beliefs you hold, all the emotions you feel, all the experiences you have in this reality… it’s all connected.

I’m not saying that if you run from the rain, that you run from your problems. It depends on who you are as a person. Just like your dreams… if you dream about being in the bathroom, it might represent a time period where you need to do some psychological cleansing. But if you are a janitor for a living, then the idea of being in a bathroom would have a completely different meaning to you, since you probably clean a lot of bathrooms for a living. Perhaps it means it’s time to clean up someone else’s mess?

Ok… so anyways. The important part about this is that reality does this. The experiences you’ve had in your life have meaning. They happened for a reason. Think of it like a dream. What is the metaphor? What does it emotionally mean to you? Decode it like you would decode waking up from a bizarre dream.

Now I really do need to get to sleep. This realization has interrupted me :-P. I’ll probably read this in the morning and face-palm :-P.

I’ve read this book twice in the past month: As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen, published in 1902.

It’s a short book - the version I have is 52 pages long. But it’s a great read. Here are some quotes:

As the plant springs from, and could not be without, the seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them. This applies equally to those acts called “spontaneous” and “unpremeditated” as to those which are deliberately executed.

…

A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of groveling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of any mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.

…

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set.

…

A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.

…

The universe does not favor the greedy, the dishonest, the vicious, although on the mere surface it may sometimes appear to do so; it helps the honest, the magnanimous, the virtuous. All the great Teachers of the ages have declared this in varying forms, and to prove and know it a man has but to persist in making himself more and more virtuous by lifting up his thoughts.

…

Tempest-tossed souls, wherever ye may be, under whatsoever conditions ye may live, know this - in the ocean of life the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep you hand firmly upon the helm of thought. In the bark of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep; wake Him. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power. Say unto your heart, “Peace, be still!”

The entire book is like that. I like it!

READ: This is a huge post. I’m sorry - I can’t help myself - my thoughts must move! I realize that most people probably won’t read it all - that’s fine, I don’t expect anyone to. This post is more for my own documentation than it is to share my ideas with everyone. In a future post, I will condense this down into a more readable format. Until then, I need to document my thoughts before the next lottery drawing…

So anyways… I lost the lottery on June 15th, and it really pissed me off, and got me thinking. Look - there’s an important lesson here that needs to be learned by the majority of people on this planet. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong. It’s not reality’s fault - it’s mine. When your model of reality is incorrect, you DO NOT force reality to fit into your arbitrary mold. You change your model, and learn from your mistakes. That’s what this post is about.

I was wrong about intention manifestation. I believe intention manifestation is a very nice model of reality, but there are some flaws, and these flaws are holding me back. All models of reality have partial truths in them, so I must take what is true out of the intention manifestation model of reality, and create a new model that can help me win the lottery.

I was breaking the news to a friend of mine, and he responded that first I rejected randomness, and now I’m rejecting intention manifestation… what next? Perhaps I enjoy rejecting models of reality a little too much :-). Either way, I have an updated understanding (which will someday be replaced by yet another, I’m sure). On to version 3.0…

The realization I made originated in my second lottery adventure, which is documented in text and video. What sparked that experience was that I went to the store, and tried to force a win from the scratch off machine. And I failed. Being pissed, I decided to listen instead of forcing things, and documented one of my biggest wins on video as a result.

Where intention manifestation fails is that it gives you the sense that you can accomplish anything, as long as you believe it through and through. This is false. I hate to be a downer, and I hate to sound negative… but I have to conclude it’s false based on the evidence. Belief can help by filtering and aligning your perspective on reality - but belief alone can not create. All it does is change the filter, which can help you in finding opportunities, and things of that nature. With an open belief system, your eyes are more open to success. Belief is important - but belief alone does not do the creation.

Intention manifestation agrees with this mostly. Intention manifestation states that you have to have belief, but you also have to have feelings - you have to visualize and feel as though your goal is true in this moment. Intention manifestation states it’s more than just positive thinking… it’s more than just filtering your perspective. Adding emotions into the mix, and really FEELING it, will produce results. This is false.

Now you might jump out of your seat and yell - “Wait a second, you’ve been using intention manifestation to do all sorts of things, and you’ve gotten results! How can you say that intention manifestation is false?! You’ve used it and seen it with your own eyes!”

True enough. I have used intention manifestation to produce results that can’t be explained by simply altering your beliefs, and changing your filter. On the surface, it seems as though intention manifestation is true, and that’s whats so tricky about it. But we have to dig a little deeper.

The truth is that sometimes intentions come true, and sometimes they don’t. The truth is that sometimes we go through all the steps, and it just doesn’t work. Sometimes it does! And it’s awesome! But sometimes it doesn’t. So obviously we’re missing something in the equation. Some other factor that plays an important role, or some other understanding.

Hopefully I haven’t lost you just yet. Let me review everything, from the beginning, to clear up what I’m about to do.

Ok. So we have these models for reality. Everyone has models for reality in their own minds… we might call them “belief systems”, or “the way things are”, or “how things work”, or “religion” … etc. We all have an internal model of reality that we use in our minds.

Now there are some popular models that a lot of people share. For example, the skeptical/cynical model of reality (version 1.0). If I were to tell a skeptic that I plan on winning the lottery, they might respond that it is POSSIBLE for me to win… but in all likelihood, I won’t. They might use concepts found in statistics and probability to talk about how the world works, and how the lottery is designed to make a profit for the government. They might say that the lottery is the tax for the stupid. Stuff like that. This is all in their model of reality. Now the skeptic usually has trouble telling the difference between actual reality, and the model of reality in their head. They think they see reality perfectly clear, and usually have a hard time admitting that they just might be wrong. They haven’t made the distinction that it’s simply a model in their own mind. But that’s ok, we can forgive them for now.

In the New Age and Personal Development circles, we have the intention manifestation model of reality (version 2.0). If I tell people who subscribe to this model that I plan on winning the lottery, most would probably cheer me on saying that it’s certainly possible if I do what intention manifestation tells me to do. Some people might argue that because I’m getting “something for nothing”, that I will fail, because I don’t have a noble cause. But most would probably admit that it’s possible. They would tell me that I have to really believe that I can win, and that I have to meditate and visualize myself winning, and feel all the emotions associated with that. Really put myself in the moment and feel like a winner. Feel like I just won. See it in my mind so clearly that it becomes superimposed on my subconscious mind, and transmitted out to the universe to attract it using “vibrations” and such. Ok.

Now, those are just two models of reality. Sure, they are each interesting in their own right, and they each have a body of literature and history. They each have truths that can’t be denied. But both of them are still just models of reality made by humans… they inherently have faults in them. The trick is to separate yourself from the model you hold in your mind. Don’t become attached to the model - become attached to reality. Reality is the judge. Not the model in your mind. Reality determines what is possible, and what isn’t possible. Not your human understanding. So we must constantly evolve our own internal models based on what we observe in reality. We might not be able to create a 100% perfect model, but that’s ok. We just need to be flexible enough to modify our model when the situation calls for it. We need to be willing to change.

So… my interest in the lottery was sparked by internalizing the realization that the skeptical/cynical model of reality (version 1.0, dealing with probability and statistics) isn’t entirely true. There is a vital flaw in this model. I outline the flaw in three posts on this website, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. If you don’t want to read all those, I will summarize the flaw briefly here.

The flaw with the skeptical/cynical model of reality is that it can’t explain how people win the lottery twice. It simply can’t. Now, if you think that it can explain it, then I encourage you to take classes in probability and statistics to truly understand what our modern views of reality tell us about someone winning the lottery twice. If you grasp probability and statistics correctly, then there is only one conclusion to make: people should never win the lottery twice. Yet, people do. So we must admit that the skeptical/cynical model is incorrect.

Now we reach another crossroad. Reality is not behaving as the intention manifestation model states that it should. Just like reality doesn’t behave like the skeptical/cynical model says it should. What is our response? Modify our model of reality. We are forced to reject intention manifestation, the same way we were forced to reject modern ideas of probability and statistics.

When we rejected probability and statistics, we didn’t reject everything. We can’t. A lot of probability and statistics is completely correct and accurate! I would say probably 99% of it :-). But there is a vital flaw. Probability and statistics rely on the existence of the concept of randomness. However, it is my understanding that randomness does not exist. Therefore, while probability and statistics are great tools, we have to realize what they are doing. They are not modeling random numbers. They are modeling choice. Making that simple correction does not undermine all the work that’s gone into the fields of probability and statistics. It simply tweaks it slightly to more accurately fit reality - and it works.

Now that we’re rejecting intention manifestation, we have to realize that a lot of intention manifestation is completely correct. But we need to tweak again. We need to observe reality, and realize where the holes are in our model. Then we need to patch the holes, and use this modified model of reality to accomplish our goals. If reality throws experiences at us that contradict our modified model (which will certainly happen at some point), then we will be forced to tweak again.

So - where does intention manifestation fail?

It fails when we try to manifest something, following the instructions correctly, and it doesn’t work. Our goal isn’t accomplished. We experienced the feelings, we did the visualization, we focused, felt good, believed… and then nothing. No results. Instead of beating ourselves up, let’s beat up intention manifestation :-).

Let’s try to understand how humans created intention manifestation to begin with. We were pretty smart about it… What we did was go around, and interview and talk to all these successful people. We asked them, “How did you do it? What is your story? What made you succeed where everyone else failed?” This is a great idea! Asking questions is a brilliant idea.

Successful people responded with their stories. And a lot of these stories had things in common. So, being the smart human race that we are, we looked at the patterns. We noticed that a lot of successful people had a burning desire to succeed. And this desire consumed their thoughts. We noticed that a lot of successful people believed they would succeed before they did - even when they logically shouldn’t have believed it. We noticed that this burning desire and belief were the very things that made them succeed. Story after story, we noticed that it was this burning desire and belief that got these people through the tough times, and allowed them to create opportunities for them, that led to success. Amazing!

So, after we noticed this, we proclaimed: Successful people had a burning desire and unwavering belief before they were successful. If you want to be successful, you need a burning desire and unwavering belief. Tada!

This idea is outlined in hundreds of books, the most popular of which is undoubtedly Napoleon Hill’s, Think and Grow Rich, published in 1937. A lot of books influenced the creation of the intention manifestation model of reality, but it is my opinion that this book is one of the major ones.

Over time, the intention manifestation model has evolved into what we see presented today, by programs like “The Secret“, and all the other ripoffs. It has evolved from this idea of burning desire and belief, into visualization and feeling your goal is already achieved.

So where is the mistake? Where is the flaw?

I will tell you. It’s very clear to me now that I have hindsight. The flaw is that we think belief, expectation, and feelings cause our goal to be accomplished. This is incorrect.

This is the mistake that we made. We saw that successful people have strong beliefs, and having this sense of “knowing” that they would succeed, before they actually succeeded. This sense of “knowing” is very important - and anyone who has applied intention manifestation knows specifically what it is. This sense of simply knowing that your goal WILL be accomplished. You just know. The mistake that we made is thinking that this sense of knowing caused the goal to be accomplished.

It’s actually a pretty normal mistake that we make all the time. The cynics have solved this problem already for us (hey, what can I say, I owe you a beer :-P). It’s a logical fallacy, called Post Hoc. We noticed that this sense of knowing came before the success, so we assumed this sense of knowing caused the success. Incorrect. Just because it came before does not mean that it caused it.

Our techniques for intention manifestation are based on the idea that we need to induce this sense of knowing. We need to alter our beliefs. We need to create a burning desire. We need to make ourselves believe. We need to convince ourselves that our goal is accomplished. Once we do that, we will have our sense of knowing. And once we have this sense of knowing, then success will follow.

But now we have to reconcile the fact that people can brainwash a sense of knowing in themselves, and the goal still isn’t accomplished. How do you reconcile that? All you intention manifestation people out there reading this… how do you explain how a person can believe 100%, feel it, visualize it, get into it… and then fail? You can’t. Not with the intention manifestation model. It’s time for a new model.

We run into some tension here, because some people might fear that if intention manifestation is incorrect, then we must downgrade to the skeptical/cynical model of reality. Hey, don’t beat yourself up too bad. We don’t have to move in that direction. We can create a new model that incorporates everything we’ve learned. And since our new model is going to be based on personal experience and open mindedness, we’ll be sure to include everything we possibly can, which will in turn help us to accomplish our goals even faster than before.

So now that we know the history of all this bullshit, what is our new model going to be? I propose version 3.0, the choice model :-). Please be aware that I didn’t come up with this all on my own. My current understanding is a result of reading, experimenting, discussing, and stealing ideas from other smart people (one good location for that is Steve’s forum on intention manifestation).

(This is a long post, I’m sorry. I want to get this down on paper before the next lottery drawing, even if that means no one will read the entire post :-P.)

My current understanding is that choice is the root to achieving a goal. This choice is made before the goal is actually manifested, ranging anywhere from a few microseconds, to decades. When this choice is made, we feel a sense of knowing that the goal will be accomplished. Perhaps this sense of knowing comes from a precognitive facility in our minds that actually sees the goal being accomplished - I’m not sure.

What I want to point out is that this choice has a supernatural quality about it that creates the reality we will someday experience. This isn’t simply a normal decision that we experience all the time… this choice is on a different level. English doesn’t have the vocabulary for it.

Ok, look. This isn’t your normal decision. I’m not sure if I can explain it to someone whose never made a decision like this before. To people who have used intention manifestation, you’ve already done it, and you can probably understand what I’m getting at. There comes a point when you say to yourself, “I AM going to do this. Period.” And that sentence alone isn’t what’s so powerful about it. It’s all the emotion… it’s every cell in your body saying “YES” to this. It is a true decision, a real choice. Not the wishy-washy crap that we do daily. It’s the type of choice that makes you slam your fist down on the table, stand up tall, and stare reality in it’s eye. It’s not anger, it’s not fear, it’s not happiness, it’s not joyfulness. It’s the raw emotion of “am”. “To be”. I AM going to do this.

That’s where the power is. It’s not about good or bad, or noble, or evil. It’s raw “YES”. It’s raw “GO”. This is the emotion that is the root to the burning desire. This is the emotion that is the root to belief. To the sense of knowing. This emotion - this choice - is the origin. Maybe you’ve never made a decision like this before, but you’ve probably seen someone make this decision. To look in their eye, and see their resolve. It’s almost like their decision convinces you. You don’t know how they’re going to accomplish their goal, but just by looking at them you know they are going to.

It’s not stubbornness, though it might look a little similar. It’s different. Stubbornness is forceful in nature… this type of decision that I’m describing really isn’t forceful. It’s self-evident. It’s true because it’s true. Stubbornness shuts down your mind… this type of decision opens your mind up. That’s one way to tell the difference.

When you make a decision like this, the world moves. Shit that’s in your way gets out of your way. Shit you need to experience starts to bee-line in your direction.

Now - there are different degrees, which is important to realize. It’s not all about emotion, even though that’s the picture I painted above. Emotion does help though. We can throw all the emotion out the window, and still be left with this choice. However, if you want to make the choice consciously, it would probably be in your best interest to use emotion to help you.

It’s about existence. It’s about being. It’s not inducing a sense of knowing… it’s behind that. Once you hit it, you feel a sense of knowing. Don’t identify it as the sense of knowing - that’s where intention manifestation made it’s mistake. It’s behind the sense of knowing. It’s the root.

Intention manifestation points us in the right direction, which is why it’s successful. But it fails because it’s not precise. It gets us in the right area, but it misses the exact location. We may stumble upon the exact location while using intention manifestation, but only because it’s in such close proximity. These are the times when we succeed. Other times, we are still in the same ballpark, but we fail because we didn’t precisely hit where we need to be.

I’m not sure if I’m explaining it correctly. Sometimes my mind gets carried away… let me try again :-P.

Ultimately, it is a choice. Wash away the extra bullshit, and you’re left with a choice. Now, in reality, we have a real hard time washing away the extra bullshit :-P. So we have to deal with the bullshit instead. That’s where things start getting hard to understand. Everyone has different stuff piled on their consciousness, so we all have different things to deal with when it comes to making this choice. It’s tough to get through and make the choice, because there’s so much crap. That’s why we have techniques, methods, exercises, models, ideas, discussions, growth, etc.

Look, if you believe that you can’t win the lottery, then that is extra bullshit piled on your consciousness that needs to be dealt with before you can win the lottery. But it’s not even that simple. If that’s all you had to deal with, then that would be easy! In reality, we have miles of shit to wade through. A simple belief that you can’t win is just an ounce.

Here, let me draw a picture:

Alrighty!

All hope is not lost… yet :-P.

My point is that we have a lot of stuff that goes on inside of our head that stops us from making these powerful choices all the time. The intention manifestation model does a pretty good job of cutting through a lot of that shit, but it’s not good enough. We can accomplish a lot of wonderful things with intention manifestation, but it falls short when it comes to winning the lottery. We might be able to use intention manifestation to win the lottery, but there is a better way.

I failed to win the lottery this past time because I focused on inducing a sense of knowing, assuming that it was the sense of knowing that created the success. This is false, hence I failed.

Now that I see that this supernatural choice is my goal, I know where to aim. And I’ll know when I get it, because I’ll feel a sense of knowing.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

What does it all mean?!

It means I’m changing my strategy for picking lottery numbers. In the past, I just picked random numbers while filling out the lottery sheet. This method may produce a win, but I want to be smarter about it. My new method is to write down lottery numbers on paper, and examine my “sense of knowing” about them. Then tweak the numbers over and over again, until I find my maximum “sense of knowing”. Then play those numbers.

This “sense of knowing” is something that needs to be polled. It needs to be examined and used. NOT FORCED. Not induced. It’s already in us, so let’s use it! I’m much more confident with this strategy than my strategy in the past, and it feels much more correct.

We shall see where it leads.

If you’ve made it this far, amazing. I really didn’t expect anyone to read this entire post. You must be bored :-). Like I said at the start, I intend on making a much more smaller version of this post in the future. I simply didn’t have the time, and I wanted to get my ideas out before the next lottery drawing. If you’ve skipped to the end, then you’re a lousy cheater! JERK! :-P. Anyways… this post took three days to write. And my thoughts are still bouncing around. They will eventually settle down. Thanks! See ya.

I have a friend who is Wiccan. Her mother is Wiccan, and psychic abilities run in her family. Every once in a while, I’ll go over to her house, and we might play with this thing called “Psychic Circle” - basically, it’s a board like the Ouija board, but more stuff on it.

If you know me, then you know I’m don’t believe in these ritualistic silly games. Nonetheless, I do believe it could be used to “channel” the subconscious mind - which could realistically produce psychic answers. So it has potential, even though it seems a little strange at first. (Of course, I could be wrong! This is just how I reason it to myself.)

When you play “Psychic Circle”, you need four people. We all put our hands on the little plastic disk, ask “the spirits” something, and wait for the disk to hover over an answer.

When we do this, it’s clear that my friend (the one mentioned earlier) is the person moving the disk. So she is either moving it consciously, subconsciously, or maybe a mixture between the two.

Now - the problem is that the answers we get are completely silly and worthless. However, I want you to imagine this situation. Four of us sitting down, with the lights off and candles lit, incense, and asking “the spirits” random questions. My friend delivers the answers - but probably isn’t aware of her own hand movements. We get responses that don’t make sense. Now myself, and the other two participants, look at the answers and say things like, “Hmm, that doesn’t make sense.” Or, “What the hell?” Or, “Ooooooook.”

My friend, on the other hand, defends the cryptic responses and tries to make them work. Why?

You might think this entire story is stupid, but the essence of where the failure occurs is very important - and applies to anyone practicing psychic abilities.

My friend has a vested interest in the results of “Psychic Circle” to be correct. What does it mean to her if the cryptic responses are worthless? Look at her belief system.

She is Wiccan. Her mother is Wiccan. Her mother taught her a lot about psychic abilities at a young age, from the perspective of rituals, spirits, séances, channeling, threefold law, etc. This is her religion.

If the “Psychic Circle” fails, then look at what’s at stake. It could force her to question her mother, her beliefs she’s held her entire life, past psychic experiences, past rituals, etc. Socially, she would have to face myself and the other participants, and consider that she’s letting us down. Letting her mother down, perhaps? She has put so much energy into this belief system - and she has a lot of energy dedicated to “Psychic Circle” being correct.

Now - I’m not saying the Wiccan religion is responsible for this. What I’m saying is that my friends specific situation really puts a lot of pressure on her.

And now the kicker - think of what happens when we start a new “Psychic Circle” session. Subconsciously, she knows she’s the one moving the disk, and she knows she’s the one responsible for the answers. She knows she’s generated answers in the past which didn’t make a lot of sense. Now she has to “perform” in front of three of her friends, and hope for the best - or her entire belief system is at stake.

Is she in a good state of mind to be receiving psychic answers? Is she in a relaxed carefree mood? Maybe consciously - but subconsciously? Far from it. So - because of all these fears, she’s put into a bad state of mind, and she can’t receive accurate psychic information. Because she can’t receive accurate psychic information, she feels her belief system is under attack. Because she’s put so much energy into her belief system, she decides (probably subconsciously) that it’s better to distort and force the cryptic responses to mean something, rather than admit they’re probably bogus. Because of this, the other three participants (including myself) grow more cynical. Because we grow more cynical, the next time we do “Psychic Circle” we’ll put even more emphasis on correct answers. Because of the increased pressure, she is in a worse state of mind the next time - and she can’t accurately receive psychic information.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

As you can see, this produces a downward spiral of increasing pressure on her. Which is bad news.

You might argue that this situation is unique to my friend. In reality, this sort of perpetual failure can happen to anyone. All it needs is a belief system that produces poor results, that we have a vested interest in maintaining. And we know that those aren’t short on demand :-P.

If you think something like this is happening to yourself, it’s important to answer the following question: what do I fear? What is the worst case scenario? For my friend, she might fear that she’s letting her mother down. Or she might fear that her mother is wrong. Or she might fear that her friends will call her names :-P. It’s important to deal with this root fear.

For my friend, let’s assume that she fears that her mother is wrong about Wicca, and she fears that the religion itself is incorrect. What is the solution?

Well, one solution is to change religions. However, let’s not go to that extreme just yet :-P. There are better solutions.

A positive solution would be to study the Wiccan religion more. Get some books - and not those “Teen Wiccan” ones - actual legitimate books on the Wiccan religion. Learn more details about it, and refocus on understanding the different perspectives inside the religion itself. Educate yourself. Become an expert on the religion.

Why does this solve the problem? It removes the link between her mother and Wicca. Right now, when she thinks of Wicca, she thinks of her mother teaching it to her. If my friend later decides she doesn’t want to be Wiccan, then she feels she would be insulting her mother - i.e., rejecting Wicca is rejecting her mother. However - if she educates herself on Wicca - then she can separate the religion from her mother. She is free to reject the religion without insulting her mother. Wicca is Wicca. Her mother is her mother.

However, if she studies more, there is another path as well. Perhaps she really falls in love with the religion. Perhaps she reads somewhere about channeling spirits incorrectly, and learns new techniques to try. This will give her a confidence boost, and free herself from all the pressure. If she’s trying a new technique, and fails to get good results, then she can blame the technique (or her inexperience with the technique). Not the religion.

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If you feel yourself slipping into perpetual failure, then ask yourself: what do I fear? Then address that fear in a positive way. Create an intelligent plan to remove the fear. Sure, it takes effort - no one said growing as a person is always easy - but it will relieve the pressure and feel good :-P. And when you finish this process, and look back in hindsight, you’ll notice that the worst case scenario you had imagined in your head never happened.

I’m reading a book, Think Yourself Rich, by Joseph Murphy.

It’s pretty repetitive, and it really talks a lot about God and the bible, but it has some good ideas too.

Honestly, I’m not sure how Christian the author really is. There are hints in the book that he doesn’t believe in the Christian God, but rather believes that the subconscious mind is the gateway to God. If you strip out all the religious information, the ideas are pretty cool.

Here’s a small excerpt, to give you an idea:

You can get acquainted with the riches of the Infinite storehouse within you by reiterating and believing the following prayer: “I am ever grateful for God’s riches that are ever active, ever present, unchanging, and eternal.”

God gave you richly all things to enjoy in this universe. Life itself is a gift to you. The whole world was here before you were born. Believe and expect the riches of the Infinite, and invariably the best will come to you. As you practice this simple truth, the desert of your life will rejoice and blossom as the rose.

As you can see, it’s pretty heavy with the God references. Not that I have anything against God… what I am against is relying on religion to explain your ideas.

Stripping out the religious stuff from the above passage, and taking the meat of the information, you can get some interesting ideas. 1. Be grateful. 2. Life is a gift to you. 3. Belief and expectation will fulfill themselves. Sounds like pretty good things.

The author stresses that by focusing on positive things, you will attract more positive things to you. Law of Attraction and Intention Manifestation, basically. Ok cool.

One idea that differs from the Intention Manifestation model is interesting though. He comes back to this idea that our natural state is to live an abundant, healthy life. He also states that God never punishes anyone - we only punish ourselves. He uses the analogy of if you cut yourself, the skin automatically heals itself. The blood comes to clot, and the tissue starts to regenerate. In that same manor, when you punish yourself by using the Law of Attraction incorrectly, God’s natural reaction is to heal you.

He claims that if we are poor, we are punishing ourselves, and have a disease of the mind. Once that disease is cured (through prayer and meditation), then our natural state will return - the state of abundance.

Ok, so there is a lot of religion in his explanations. It’s important to understand what someone is saying from the perspective that they’re saying it. This way, while you might disagree with some of the axioms, you can still use the same lessons in your own life.

The important idea that I’ve learned so far, is that we don’t have to work to become rich. If our natural state is abundance, then we are doing more work by staying poor, than we would be doing becoming rich. Think of holding up a pendulum - if you let go, it’s natural state is to drop down. If you want to constantly hold the pendulum out of it’s natural state, then that takes energy. If you just let go, it will naturally find it’s way back to the center. Same idea.

This is a new idea to me because I’ve almost always been under the impression that we must work really hard to become rich. Very rarely have I attempted to question that idea. It’s always fun to see someone who disagrees with a belief that you rarely question yourself. It can help you out.

I’m not done with the book, but I think I understand the gist of it at this point. I’ll continue to read, and try and apply the author’s techniques. A fun project :-).

It’s common in the Personal Development world to read about figuring out your life’s purpose. At one point, I had become obsessed with figuring out my purpose, and spent months and months trying to figure it out. Now I know some people have found a purpose, and are quite happy with what they found - I, on the other hand, despite my greatest prolonged efforts, could not come up with a purpose I was happy with.

This threw me into a state of depression, because I had no direction, and while I felt that life had meaning, the fact that I couldn’t define my purpose made me intellectually conclude that there was no meaning. This conflict in beliefs really ripped at me, and threw me into a very negative state of mind, where I wasn’t accomplishing anything. The longer I went without figuring out my purpose, the more pressure I felt to come up with one, and the more depressed I felt. It was a pretty crappy cycle.

Eventually I concluded that my purpose was just to experience. To do what I do, and just experience what’s in front of me. No larger goal, no great accomplishment, and in fact - no way to fail. I just don’t buy into the whole “define your purpose” idea. At the time, I felt I needed to give some answer to the question of “What is my life’s purpose?”, so the answer of just experiencing this reality seems like a great one.

One day I was talking to my friend, and we wandered on to the subject of purpose. He told me that he had spent months trying to figure out his purpose, and all it did was depress him. I was amazed! I told him the same thing happened to me, and that my eventual conclusion was to just relax and experience reality. His eventual conclusion was just to let it go, and forget about it.

I think that defining your purpose might be a useful tool for some people. For me, it wasn’t useful at all. All it did was make me feel forced to move in one direction, when what I really felt was that I wanted to move in all directions at once. The idea of defining a purpose for me felt like it restricted my freedom. Any time I would come up with a purpose, I always looked at the opposite of that purpose, and felt like I would be missing out if I forced myself in a direction.

For example, I read Steve Pavlina’s blog, and he has a lot of ideas that have helped me, and provoked thought. His purpose is: “to live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace”. That sounds pretty nice. But when I tried it on for myself, my response was: what if I need to make a cowardly decision at some point? What if I need to be mean and selfish at some point? What if I wake up, and one day I don’t feel like awakening any great spirits in others? What if I need to leave this world in anger?

Then my purpose wouldn’t be serving me at all! You might say to yourself: “Well gee, is there a point when you really want at make a cowardly decision?” No, of course not. I would love it if I were the most awesome courageous person in the world. Nonetheless, life isn’t that simple. A lot of my worst decisions led to my best realizations. Why would I want to force myself to make good decisions just because my purpose says I should? What’s so bad about making bad decisions anyways?! Shit, we’re human!

Overall, I felt that this idea of a purpose was really bringing me down. There’s so much in this world I’d like to do and experience, I really don’t want to limit myself by defining one direction to move in. If that means I die alone and homeless, then so be it. At least I would have experienced being alone and homeless :-). If you have found your purpose, then great! If you are like me, and thinking about defining a purpose just makes you feel depressed, then at the very least - you’re not alone :-). Both my friend, and myself felt the same way. If it doesn’t feel good, then don’t force it.