I feel like such a sucker for thinking so much about the topic of winning the lottery, but I can’t help it - it embodies everything I care about, in a poetic sense.  Perhaps I just use it as an excuse to think about hard topics? ;-P

I was laying in bed, throwing my orange ball up at the ceiling, debating with myself about the morality of winning the lottery.  If I could find a way to win, would it be cheating?  What overall goal am I aiming for, and is this goal moral?  Am I just doing it because I want to escape the rat race of living paycheck to paycheck?  Or is there an honest and healthy reason for my obsession?

I can’t lie to myself… I know that part of me desperately wants to transcend society’s dependence on money.  By winning the jackpot, I will essentially free myself from years of burden and conformity required by society in order to pay for the necessities of life.  But free myself to what end?  What would I do with my time, once liberated?

There is a divine balance to reality.  Any push away from truth creates a perfectly calculated, equal and opposite push towards truth.

If my theories are correct, then society has made a gamble against truth.  Society has taken the stance of “random things happen, and sometimes it’s just coincidence”.  The lottery embodies this assumption by society.

But if the assumption is false - if things happen for a reason, and there is an underlying meaning in everything - then I should be able to win the lottery.  Not for the money - but for the point of demonstrating the falseness of society’s assumption.  After all, who am I to say that I am right, and society is wrong?  What evidence have I presented society with?  As far as society is concerned, I’m just a peebrain with a blog :-).

So, my goal is to demonstrate to society that the assumption of “random things happen, and sometimes it’s just coincidence” is false.  Now maybe I am wrong - maybe society’s assumption is correct.  In which case, I won’t win the lottery, and my failed demonstration can be used as evidence that some things are random.  Of course, that’s not the outcome I believe will come to pass :-), but reality will be the judge of that.

Now - I believe that this goal is moral.  My goal is rooted in revealing truth - whether I’m correct or incorrect.  However, does this answer the question of what to do with the money, once I win?

Yes, I believe it does.  Now that I’ve defined my goal, and my goal is moral, I can more easily see what follows.

After demonstrating that society’s assumption is false, I must spend the money on discovering the truth.  It’s the only moral way to balance out the situation.  I can’t take advantage of society’s ignorance, then disappear with the money to lead a selfish life of abundance.  Once I win, it will become my responsibility to spend the money on restoring balance.

So, let it be known:

If I win the jackpot, then I will use the money to research the topic of both how society allows itself to become deceived, and what the truth actually is.  I will create an organization in order to accomplish this research.  I am announcing this because, in the event that I win, I want to ensure that everyone keeps me honest.  I am human, and I will definitely be tempted to just pack up my bags, and live a peaceful private life.  However, since I know that using society’s ignorance for my own personal gain is immoral, I want to declare my intention publicly.  I will do everything in my power to remain faithful to my word - but, if I start to flake out, then I hope those reading this proclamation will remind me of my obligation.

Oh boy :-P.

I continue to have a strong belief that I can win the lottery… but I have yet to hit the jackpot (obviously).  It’s quite the enigma.

A lot of times I question, “Perhaps I’m asking something from myself that is legitimately impossible?” - in which case, I’m putting myself under stress for no good reason.  But then I quickly remember my successes.

I have broken the mathematical odds… no matter which way you cut it.  And so have others.  But for the life of me, I can’t figure out what triggers it.

I have exhausted all the “normal” techniques that come to mind, with close to zero results: precognition, trancing, remote viewing, micro-psychokinesis, intention manifestation, “just do it”, asking my subconscious directly, asking dream characters, etc.  This has led me to try more crazy techniques.  As a result, I have found two techniques that consistently produce results (and also sound even more insane than the run-of-the-mill paranormal techniques):

The first technique is to ask my subconscious to list some “profound truths” - and in the middle of hearing these truths, ask for a number.  I believe this works because my subconscious has to “tune” into the truths, and while “tuned in”, I can ask for truths concerning the lottery.

The second technique is to video tape myself “praying” for the winning numbers.  Yes, this actually produces results for me.

And yes, I realize how bat-shit insane both techniques are (especially the second one, which has actually been more effective than the first).  But… those are the two that have worked out of all my ideas thus far.

Perhaps I’ve taken this idea of winning the lottery too far?  Naaa :-P.  Not yet :-).

I’ve yet to reconcile the seemingly contradicting experiences I’ve had.  Until I can come up with a unified theory, I must keep experimenting.  Besides, it’s fun :-).

Ernesto e-mailed me a question:

“As of now, I have just finished reading your incomplete sequel to your first E-Book. It left me feeling empty as your new website does not talk about all of the “Psi” phenomenon discussed in your first. I wish you could publish a blog in which you finish expressing the ideas of your sequel. Do you still practice Telekinesis and Psi Balls? Do you have any new ideas about how they function with this new broader outlook?”

One reason why I don’t talk about some of my current beliefs is because they sound insane :-P. Part of me would rather quietly hold on to my bizarre beliefs, and work on them in private, than to express them for everyone to read and criticize. Keep in mind that a lot of my friends in real life and co-workers read this blog, and my name is attached to every post, so I feel an increased burden to tone things down :-P.

Another reason I don’t talk about my current understanding is because it’s not clear. I don’t see it clearly in my mind, so I have a hard time explaining it. I’ll start to write a sentence, but it won’t feel correct, so I’ll try again. And again. Ultimately, the problem is that I haven’t “figured it out” in my own head, so I won’t write about it.

But for this post - sure, I’ll give it a shot:

The biggest belief that I struggle with is that it is my understanding that reality is a dream of some sort. And I hate saying that because it’s very cliché, but I’ve yet to find any other explanation for what I’ve observed.

I’ve outlined this belief in past posts: Everything is Meaningful, and I am Probably Insane.

The basic idea is that the things we experience in reality have deeper meaning. Just like in dreams, where certain metaphors drive the experience, these same metaphors are also the driving forces for what we experience in reality.

The reason why I believe this is because I’ve been tracking it in my own life. I have these experiences which are too bizarre to be labeled “coincidence”. I see the metaphors, sometimes while the experience is happening, other times after the fact. I can predict what’s going to happen by looking at what the metaphor requires. A lot of the time I’m correct (though I will be honest, I am not 100% :-P).

Now of course, the same old arguments can be brought up, that I am biased because I’m looking for meaning, or that I’m a sucker, or whatever. Those arguments don’t really bother me, because I know I am very honest with myself, and that no one is more critical of my own thoughts than me. But, from an outsider’s perspective, they do seem like legitimate complaints. One reason I don’t like discussing my beliefs is because I’ll have to argue these worn out positions with people who don’t care as much as I do. I’ve put years of blood sweat and tears into my current beliefs, constantly challenging them from every perspective I can think of, testing reality, forcing myself to drop incorrect beliefs (at the expense of my ego and pride), etc. It’s very frustrating to argue with someone who is just trolling around because they have nothing better to do.

Now, the question that I’ve yet to answer, is how deep do these metaphors go? On the surface, it might seem like I’m just arguing in favor of basic psychology. I’ve observed these metaphors manifesting themselves in reality - not just in my own head - so at a minimum I’m talking about something more than psychology.

Right now I’m divided between three basic explanations:

#1. Reality itself is governed by these metaphors. Reality is a dream. Science is derived from this dream. Examples of this theory are cited in the above links: Everything is Meaningful, and I am Probably Insane.

#2. There is an underlying physical reality that is governed by science, but there is a mental reality governed by these metaphors that co-exists with this physical reality. This would mean that the metaphors are a result of the mind, but that we see manifestations of these metaphors in reality because of large scale unconscious telepathy. I talk about this idea here: Current Understanding of Intention Manifestation.

#3. Something I haven’t thought of.

If explanation #1 is correct, then reality is a free for all. There are no rules. Psionics, and all belief structures, are now easily explained. This sounds a little outlandish, so I tend to side with #2.

If explanation #2 is correct, then there is a very large question. How does this “mental reality” affect the physical reality? In this explanation, macro-psychokinesis is not explained.

Most likely, explanation #3 is correct. But since I’ve yet to think of it, I don’t know how it works :-).

Now, the next question might be: how can we determine which is correct? What would be a wonderful test that would clear a lot of this up?

Well, winning the lottery.

The lottery is void of mind. If this “mental reality” exists, then the lottery would not be a part of it. Therefore, intention manifestation wouldn’t work on the lottery (which is my experience). So, according to my experiences so far, #2 looks like it might be correct.

However, the problem with #2 is the question of macro-psychokinesis - i.e., how does the “mental reality” affect the physical reality? Is the physical reality deterministic? Where does free-will fit into this?

If #2 was completely correct, then you couldn’t use psychic abilities to win the lottery. Yet I have already succeeding in breaking the mathematical odds, and other psychics have won the lottery as well. See: Psychic Wins Lottery, I Won, I Won… Again.

So, #1 doesn’t feel correct, and my experiences back it up because I failed to win the lottery using intention manifestation.

But, #2 is also incorrect to some extent, because I have succeeded a little bit in winning the lottery, and others have done better than I have.

So, in conclusion…

In my last eBook, I talked about belief systems, and how we can succeed with psychic abilities using drastically different belief systems. The question that I had at the end of that eBook was basically: how can that be?

My answer to that question is that reality is some form of dream. I haven’t posted a lot on this subject because a lot of the revelations have been very personal as I inspect the metaphors driving my own life.

The next question is: to what extent do these metaphors affect reality? Either reality is a dream, and physical reality is derived from that dream (#1), OR there is a physical reality, and a mental reality, each governed by different rules (#2).

Judging from my experiences, and my intuition, I believe that #2 is probably more correct. However, then the question becomes: how is macro-psychokinesis possible? I.e., how does the mental reality affect the physical reality?

At that point, a good test is to attempt to win the lottery (something completely physical), using mental means (psychic abilities). This will get me lots of money, play into my own life metaphor, and help answer these glaring questions about how reality works.

Any questions?

Not a whole lot going on right now… But I do manage to keep myself busy. My current projects are as follows:

1. Win MegaMillions. The jackpot is below $45 million, so I’m not playing right now. My current strategy is to just pick numbers off the top of my head, with no overall understanding or strategy. This is based on the idea that I’ll never fully know how it works, but I just have to trust that it will work. I’m also working on my lottery machine, but since it’s construction won’t help my current strategy, it’s not a priority.

2. Video tape myself having an out of body experience. I’ve started getting into the habit of training myself to OBE again. I’ve noticed that my OBEs have dropped in frequency over the past months, and that bothers me. So I’m resuming my training, and also video tape myself at the same time, with the idea that if I have an OBE during a training session, it will be on camera.

3. I’m reading the book, Science and the Akashic Field, by Ervin Laszlo. It’s interesting, but it really hasn’t captured my interest completely yet. Perhaps in the later chapters it will do so.

4. Unrelated to the paranormal, I’ve been working a lot on another site of mine, codetank.com. It’s purpose is to teach programming, and provide a nice and fun environment to learn programming in. I have a few games online, and it’s slowly growing. Fun :-).

Nothing terribly exciting this moment, but maybe I’ll start seeing results with the lottery or start having some OBEs again. I’m beginning to have consistent lucid dreams (I’ve had an LD every night for the past three or four days now), which is usually a sign that my training is having an effect.

I made a lottery game, to play with online. Check it out here:

Lottery Game

Let me know if you find any bugs or weird behavior. Happy fake winning!

EDIT: I’ve added more features. I about scared myself shitless with this result as well - winner: 03 11 26 36 40 [16], my ticket: 03 18 24 36 41 [15]. So close!

My understanding of intention manifestation (IM) has evolved quite a lot over the years. Ironically, my current understanding of IM has come full circle, and is now the same understanding I had when I first began experimenting with it, at age 16.

When I was 16, we didn’t call it “intention manifestation” - we called it transmitting. The idea was to broadcast a telepathic intent to the universal unconscious. I’m not sure where the term “transmission” came from - perhaps Rainsong or Myriad came up with it. Or maybe they just taught me the term, and it was coined by someone else. Either way, that was my original understanding of the skill: as a telepathic broadcast. But since the term “intention manifestation” has become somewhat mainstream, I’ll continue to use that, since I do believe it is the same skill.

“Universal unconscious” comes from Carl Jung (also known as the “collective unconscious”, or “objective psyche”). The idea - as I understand it - is that we all share a common unconscious mind. From this common mind, our conscious minds are just a small part sticking out. Think of it like a big ocean - the waves are our conscious minds, which perceive from our location to be independent and separate. But in reality, we are connected by a huge mass of common unconsciousness beneath us.

With this model, we can see how telepathy could be explained (in general). Since we are all connected on an unconscious level, all we need to do is build a link between two extensions of consciousness (aka “people”), and communication will be the same as thinking to ourselves.

Hopefully I haven’t confused you too much. It’s harder to explain than it is to understand :-P.  Here’s a picture!

Either way, a transmission (or intention), is basically broadcasting out a thought on the entire universal unconscious. Impressing the common mind with a thought. Burning an image into the collective brain. Once this broadcast has happened, then all conscious beings will receive it via intuition and gut feelings, of something they should act on. That’s the idea.

Now why is this important? Well… in the mainstream version of intention manifestation, you basically get whatever you want. You just visualize it, and POOF! It appears randomly some day! This is incorrect, in my opinion.

If intention manifestation is limited by the ideas presented above, then really the only way intention manifestation can affect reality is by altering everyone’s collective intuition. To do such a thing would be extremely useful for certain goals! For example, if you’re looking for a lover, then by broadcasting your intent, all humans will unconsciously see that you are looking for a lover, and it will attract some people to you also looking for love. If you’re looking for a business, or advice, or a parking spot, or anything where telepathy can serve you - then intention manifestation will be useful. (Intending a parking spot could be telepathically telling people to hurry up and get in their car so they’ll leave in time for you to take their spot.)

However: if intention manifestation is a telepathic broadcast, then there are certain things it wouldn’t be useful for. Mainly things that can’t be affected by an intuitive human. Like the lottery.

With the lottery, I could be the best telepath in the world, but that won’t affect the lottery balls. They aren’t conscious (right?!). The procedure for drawing lottery balls is designed to remove the human element from the equation. Which means I can visualize all I want, and I can scream my intention out to the unconscious all I want - but no one can do anything about it. No one can help me. No one can come to my rescue.

So - it is my belief that you can not win the lottery using intention manifestation. And my results confirm this.

However, all is obviously not lost :-). There must be some metaphysical way to win the lottery, because I still can’t explain how people win the lottery twice, and I can’t explain my own results with the lottery.

My conclusion is that I should have taken the advice of a friend when I first dreamed up this goal. He told me that I either have to predict the lottery numbers (via ESP), or manipulate the lottery numbers (via micro-PK). Or maybe a combination of both. Either way - I have to pick at least one or the other. I theorized I had some more options - mainly intention manifestation and altering my beliefs about reality. However, as we see, these are dead ends for the lottery.

So, I have a choice. Either I can try to predict the lottery numbers, or I can affect the lottery numbers to a pre-determined set. I have a long history of predicting the future, reading people, “knowing” things that haven’t happened, “knowing” things that I don’t know, and basically be bored with reality’s linear nature. I also have a history of frustrating and unimpressive PK results. Well gee whiz. What should I do?

Prediction it is!

It should be noted that I don’t know how I won the MegaMillions back in March. I don’t remember if it was by prediction, or some other means. I do know it happened right after I had the breakthrough in realizing that randomness doesn’t exist… but that’s all I associate with those wins. So I don’t know if ESP has helped me in the past with MegaMillions.

However, my luck with the scratch off tickets may very well have been from ESP. When I first decided to go on my road trip to buy winning lottery tickets, I actually got a flash of the map I would end up driving before starting the trip. I didn’t record it at the time because I was trying to focus on intention manifestation - not ESP :-P. I didn’t want to “cheat” by using ESP :-P.

And finally, before I end this post, I should also note that I tried to win the lottery using Remote Viewing in the past, and failed. I did this when I was around 20 years old, and the reason I believe I failed was because of lack of skill, incorrect technique, and bad experiment design. But hey, it was my first one, so I can’t be too hard on myself :-P.

Now it’s game time though :-P. I’m 200x more sensitive and accurate now compared to where I was 4 years ago. If I didn’t already know I would be correct, I would amaze myself :-P.

Also: if you saw my last post, then you saw my sweet ass lottery machine. It’s in development, and not completed yet. I shall be posting more videos as I build it. It’s gonna kick ass :-). Oh goodie…

Oh goodie!

I took a month off from the lottery, due to the low jackpot amounts over the course of October.  And it couldn’t have come at a better time - October has been especially stressful for me for many reasons.  Changing jobs, changing shifts, changing apartments, and in general just changing my whole day-to-day activities.  But that stress is finally equalizing itself, and life is starting to get back into a pattern, so I’m free to experiment with more fun ideas on reality.  And it just so happens that the lottery jackpot has gotten within my acceptable range :-).

I played on Friday, but didn’t get any numbers, unfortunately.  But that’s ok.

I’ve come to accept that I’ve failed over the summer (in terms of the lottery).  If you remember… the lottery motivated me to start living my ideal life right now (instead of waiting around for a huge jackpot).  That meant learning more about music, exercising and eating healthy, investing, and thinking about tough subjects like value, choice, faith, etc.  So the lottery was a success in terms of motivation and life-stuff, but the act of winning was a failure.  I didn’t win the jackpot.

However, I now think that it was better that way.  I’ve come to reject the ideas of personal development and intention manifestation.  And I think that it’s important to reject those ideas.  They served me well for quite a while, but now it’s time to move on.  Had I won the lottery in the summer, it would have validated the ideas of personal development and intention manifestation… which would have been incorrect, and messed with my head.  So it’s better this way.  Or at least - that’s how I currently rationalize my failure at the moment ;-).

Now that I have finished my rejection, I feel more free to win the lottery without all the intellectual baggage associated with it.  During the summer, success of the lottery project was directly linked to correctness of my belief structure.  That’s a wonderful way to inject emotional stress into a situation :-).  However, now I feel like my success with the lottery is independent of my beliefs.  So I can relax.  I feel more playful and curious, as opposed to forceful and frustrated :-P.

We’ll see how long this lasts ;-P.

Either way, I want to do more experiments, and gather actual EVIDENCE to figure out how I can pull off this win.  I most definitely believe it’s possible and plausible to win the jackpot.  I stand by my rejection of modern statistics and probability, and my rejection of randomness.  That’s sound logic right there - and the evidence supports it.  Now I just need to keep reminding myself to focus on the evidence, and not any willy nilly emotion or philosophical idea that flutters across my creative mind.

Hurray :-).

So last Friday was a big day in my lottery world.  The drawing meant a lot for two main reasons: 1. I had been meditating on schedule for 3 weeks, putting a total of 4 hours and 13 minutes towards intending on winning.  2.  I was at $0 profit, so if I didn’t win anything, then I would officially be going into lottery-debt.

The results were: ZERO NUMBERS CORRECT.  Oi!

So that pissed me off :-).

I was bummed out all of Friday, and I was thinking to myself how crazy I was for trying to win the lottery, and how silly the whole goal is in general.  When I went to sleep on Friday, I was debating whether to keep the project going or not.

Saturday night I came to one important realization though.  The project isn’t silly :-).  I have won the lottery in the past, and my logic up until this point has been very strong.  I have evidence to support my beliefs - I’m not just plucking things out of the air.  I’ve beaten the odds.  I’ve proven modern statistics wrong already.  I accomplished 1 in 43,000 in the first 5 drawings.  So I still have another 42,947 losses before the statistics balance out.  Until that point arrives - I am beating the mathematical odds.

Sunday night I came to an even better realization.  I realize that I’ve been taking this project too seriously.  It used to be fun.  I used to be excited to just play and see the results.  But now when I check my numbers, I just prepare myself to be frustrated and pissed off.  So I want to take the next two weeks as a break (while waiting for the jackpot to reach $45mil), and just try to relax and not be so serious.

Also, I think that intention manifestation - as presented by popular sources - is bullshit.  I don’t think that those who teach the popular view of intention manifestation are purposely misleading people.  I think that we saw some strange shit, and we were too quick to try and explain it.  We wanted to show everyone the weird things we experienced, and when everyone else demanded an explanation, we felt obligated to give one.  I now believe the correct response should have been: “I don’t know how it works, but it’s pretty weird, huh?” :-).

We always have to be careful with our minds.  When we want to believe something we are in a very dangerous position of altering our perception in order to see what we want to see.  The second we let our guard down is the second a false belief sneaks in under the guise of truth.  Everything must be questioned.  The jeweler doesn’t appraise rocks in bulk… each one is put under the magnifying glass, and judged individually.  I feel as though intention manifestation is a box of rocks.  It’s time to pull out every idea - one by one - and figure out exactly where the gemstones are hiding.  And have fun in the process :-).

So anyways… I got one number correct on the big drawing last Friday.  There were four jackpot winners, who had to split the $330 million dollar prize money.  Pretty good chunk of change right there.

I notice that every time someone wins the jackpot, and it isn’t me, that I get really pissed off :-P.  Usually for about a week.  I don’t mind when nobody wins, because then I can just try again in a few days… but when someone wins, I can’t help but think that they did it correctly, and I didn’t.  So that bugs me.

I’m continuing with my strategy of doing intention manifestation every day, for a set amount of time, and increase the duration by a minute each day.  Today I’m at 10 minutes… tomorrow 11, etc.

I started the lottery project in March, and it’s now September.  I’m at $1 profit.  I’ve destroyed the odds, and I should be in the hole quite a bit of money according to modern statistics.  For example, my dad started in April, and is at -$109 (though he does play a different lottery than I do).  Either way… my results prove that modern statistics is flawed on some level… but I’ve yet to take advantage of it’s flaws to win the jackpot.  (Maybe I shouldn’t use the word “prove”, because people get anal about that.  Oh well, bite me :-P.)

I have no choice but to keep going.  Part of me wishes I would just give up on it, and start focusing on other weird things (OBEs, PK, LDs…), so I would have more to write about :-).  But I can’t.  I know I can win.  It’s just that simple.

Reality, reality.

You know, when I finally do hit the jackpot, it still won’t answer any of my questions :-P.  By that I mean: I’ll be just as clueless as to how I did it as anyone else will be.  I find that funny :-).

I can’t help but think that intention manifestation is also incorrect.  When I think about “The Secret“, my gut tells me there’s a lot of bullshit there.  But I also can’t argue with results… I’ve used intention manifestation techniques to do some weird shit that blew me away.  Hm.

What happens?  A truth is revealed, and then everyone jumps all over it, putting their own spin on it, promoting it as their truth.  Over time it becomes distorted, and the original truth fades out.  I fear that’s what’s happening with intention manifestation.  Too many people thinking about it :-P.  Too many people forming ideas, and not enough raw perception.  I’m guilty as well.

It’s funny how if you think about things a lot, and I mean really think… deep thought, focused, logical thinking… and you really stick to it, and draw wonderful conclusions, and come up with really beautiful and elegant ideas… that eventually you conclude that you think too much.  But you need to think too much to reach that conclusion.

*blinks*