I lost this round. I spent $12 on lottery tickets for Friday’s drawing, and lost.
I went to bed pissed off. But I woke up with the solution. Funny how that works..? 
For those that think I’m crazy, let me reassure you: no one questions my sanity more than myself :-). Perhaps it is all just random, and I’m putting myself through this for no good reason whatsoever. That thought certainly crosses my mind. However - I can’t deny my observations. And once I start thinking about my observations, I quickly regain my confidence, and realize that I can win the jackpot if I remain persistent. I’ve made intelligent decisions up to this point, and I’m confident in my logic so far. I’m just need to keep going.
Or maybe I’m addicted to gambling? Heh, that thought is truly ridiculous for anyone who knows me. I have a very non-addictive personality, and I aggressively avoid anything that just might cause an addiction. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons I stopped playing scratch off lottery tickets. I observed my emotions moving a millimeter towards addiction, and cut it off immediately.
Anyways, here is a list of ideas that I will have to resolve:
1. There is no such thing as randomness -or- Do I have the courage to live in a world without randomness?
Now I know I’ve addressed this topic before. However, parts of my mind still rely on this idea of randomness to “patch things up” that I’m not entirely aware of. For example, on July 4th I drove home from work differently so I could get some gas. I didn’t realize that the path I had chosen would result in a shit load of traffic because people were watching fireworks. This pissed me off, and it’s possible part of myself said that my suffering was random (or: it was random that I inadvertently decided to get gas at that specific day and time, where there was excessive traffic). To be pissed is to deny the order of the universe.
I find myself making decisions based on a belief in randomness. Let me outline exactly what I mean, because this is the main reason why I lost this past drawing. Imagine a chess game :-), and I’m white. Now, as I move my chess pieces around the board, and develop a strategy, I have to try to predict what my opponent is going to do, and prepare myself for their attacks, and also counter-attack at the same time. How does my prediction process work? At some point, I might try to think of random moves my opponent would make, in order to figure out how I would respond.
I do this with reality. It’s a wonderful tool for decision making. I think to myself, “When I get out of the Air Force, I will go back to college. However, if the Air Force refuses to pay for my college (even though they said they would), then I need to have a backup plan. And if I win the lottery, then I don’t need to worry about that. But if I don’t win the lottery, and the Air Force screws me over, then what do I do? In that case, I will find a good job with my decent resume. However, this choice isn’t optimal because my resume wouldn’t include a Bachelors degree.” Now look at how many paths I’ve outlined in my head, and how those paths rely on the idea of randomness.
I have no explanation for why the Air Force would screw me over, however - it is possible and probable, so I must prepare for it (just like in the chess game). But at the same time, if nothing is random, and everything happens for a reason, then why should I prepare? Or more accurately: since the reason I prepare is because I foreshadow possible stressful situations, and I want to alleviate that imaginary stress: why should the Air Force screwing me over stress me out if nothing is truly random?
2. What I will do with the money?
I’m starting to solve this issue, but I still need some work. It’s important for me to define (in a general sense) what I plan to do with the money - and start working towards that right now. For example, a few months ago I had visualized myself in Georgia with $33 mil, exercising daily and running in the sun. But while visualizing this, in reality I was a lazy bum, and didn’t exercise at all. So, internally, the idea of winning the jackpot meant I could start exercising. However, this is an unhealthy limitation, that puts a need on winning the jackpot. Like so: I need to be healthy = I need to exercise = I need to win the lottery. Associating a need with the jackpot introduces failure. The solution to that particular problem was to start running NOW. Which is what I do. I exercise 3-4 times a week.
Even though I solved that one problem, there are more. What will I do with the money? Is there a way I can start working towards my goals NOW? Is there a way I can relieve this need to win?
3. Am I cheating?
I have this issue mostly resolved, but I have some more work to do here as well. Am I cheating by winning the lottery? In a way, yes. I am betraying the trust of those who enter the lottery. We have a preconception that this is a game of chance… if everyone knew it wasn’t a game of chance, and that it was a game of choice, would people still play? Maybe more people would play :-P. But nonetheless, the issue still exists. If there exists one person who plays because it’s a game of chance, then I am cheating that person by using conscious choice to win.
Now the obvious solution to this is to realize that I can’t be accountable for someone else’s ignorance or misunderstanding. But there’s still some negativity in this line of argument that needs to be resolved.
4. Is it moral to get something for nothing?
This is an interesting problem which needs some attention indeed. I stumbled upon the Seven Blunders of the World, by Gandhi. (Flashback: by using the word “stumbled” in the previous sentence, am I affirming a form of randomness exists?). Gandhi lists seven blunders that humans make, one of them being: wealth without work.
Now, in my head I’m clearly working hard for this win. Look how much time and energy I’ve put into it so far. I’m working, according to my own standards. But I think I should give Gandhi a little more credit and think about this idea some more. I’ve heard other people claim it’s ethically wrong to use intention manifestation to win the lottery because you’re getting “something for nothing”, but I really don’t care what they think. However, when Gandhi says it, then perhaps I should perk up and pay attention :-P.
This brings up the topic of what is wealth, how society views wealth, the true value of something, what the natural order of things are regarding wealth and value, etc. A lot of issues that need to be addressed, and I’ve barely scratched the surface.
Overall
Looking over this list, and looking internally at the beliefs and thoughts in my head that need to be resolved, I still come to the same conclusion: I can do this. I can overcome these obstacles in a positive way that will conclude with me winning the jackpot. My goal is possible. But I do have work to do, and I’m not entirely sure how I’ll get there just yet. But the destination exists :-).
July 7th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
First comment!! Anyway..I wouldnt care about the cheating thing. You have a better way to win, your taking somebody elses win..So what? Just do it anyway.
July 7th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
the reason you lost is probly because you feel bad about having an advantage, it always works like that… do what i do, dont think about the money or people when you play, just think about it as a game,
if you win the game, great, if you lose, great, sure it would be great to win the lottery but you can live without it,
and i have to ask sean.. how many numbers did you get right?
July 7th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Wow… I would say that your motivation is slowly starting to fade =O. However, I like the approach you take - you at least try to stay moral, and are aware of the possible implications on society if everyone was able to win the lottery.
But heck - seeing as YOU work hard, thinking through possible scenarios, trying to find out the nature of reality, and attempting to clear up some of those human mysteries that have followed us thousands of years - you are doing work.
Me personally, I believe that you’re working, and thus justifying the morality of the jackpot. You may be doing it in a way different than most humans, but then again, we’re not most humans in the way we think and believe things.
July 7th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Very good post.
Sometimes you confuse me though ;).
But I think I get the point.
It feels like your getting closer and closer to winning. I hope you win within the next month
!!!.
Please keep us updated.
ALSO!!!:
Will you ever make a chat room again? I loved #psipog.
- hotfoot982
July 8th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
FI
__ (G) = M
T
Seems to me (The O’l man) you just need yourself a formula. I use this one:
Focused Intentions over Time, multiplied by God, equals Momentum.
It works on so many levels… but hay, that’s ME.
July 8th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
In a world without randomness *nothing* can be random. In that case, everything is sorted out already and you could know what would happen from here to eternity. The only problem with that is, even if it is all worked out, without randomness, knowing everything about the future would not help you to change it. Randomness is the ability to effect change on the world. Without randomness you can’t change anything.
It’s like a book. Are we writing it, or reading it? Are all the letters down on the page? Or are we putting them down as we go? If they are already written out, we can know what will happen, and knowing it may make us want to change it. But wanting to change it will do nothing because we have seen the future that is written out in black and white.
If there is randomness, we can’t see the words on the next page. We can infer what they might be, but we cannot know them.
Here is a thought I had a couple years ago, possibly influenced by my experiences with psipog…
What if the universe/time is like a large sphere. We are at a certain point on that sphere. Time is the movement over the sphere, top to bottom in my mind. In this way, every possible combination of space/ time would be represented. Through our actions we determine the path our lives take on this sphere. In this way, you can steer the course, but you cannot jump to a radically different experience. You must go through the motions.
An interesting point I thought of from this concept: Every single one of us could be taking a different path. Because the sphere provides for every possible occurrence, you would exist on a certain area of the sphere. This is every possible action you could take in your life and where it would lead. In places where your area overlaps with others, you exist with them. If every person chose their own destiny, they could in effect take a different path on sphere. It’s crazy to think about, but what if every single person is living in an alternate reality and the people we interact with are just reflections of what they could have chosen. We have no idea which one they actually did.
I just think that is very interesting / powerful.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
In response to war1025: Beautiful idea. I completely agree.
There’s always the daunting question (in my mind) of whether the rest of the world exists or is simply in my head. I might ask someone if they’re real, but maybe my mind’s playing out a conversation for me. (I guess this is a Matrix idea…) There’s absolutely no way to prove it. And this is sort of my approach to randomness.
To Sean: I don’t know how much this borders on religion, so sorry, but I was wondering if you believed in Karma or anything remotely similar.
July 12th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
As far as the “something for nothing” issue, here’s one way to look at it; although work is usually thought of as something done to earn a living, if you were to win the lottery, you wouldn’t have to worry about money. You’d probably have enough to support you for the rest of your life. What you’d be left with is a whole lot of time. Then there’s a lot more possibilities, such as volunteer work or starting your own buissiness or organization. Pick a noble cause, any noble cause
July 14th, 2007 at 10:16 am
i don’t think its cheating at all. LOA is about getting what you want because you want it. And lets face it your not the only one out there that wants to win the lottery. They all visualize and put energy into it even if there not aware of it. Just because you are aware of it doesn’t mean that your cheating.
Sometimes i think that maybe we are thinking about it to much. You know the phrase “A watched pot does not boil”. When ever i can buy the tickets and then just forget about them until a day after the drawing i get better results.
When you watch those programs you find that a lot of people who did win did exactly that. One woman was talking to her friends regarding the fact that a recent lottery winner in there area had not come forward yet. She said “Oh if I had the winning ticket I wouldn’t be waiting all of this time. I would be down there cashing it in. What she didn’t realize is that she did indeed have the winning ticket on her visor and she just hadn’t checked it yet.