You’ll have to forgive me.

I was lying in bed, about to fall asleep, when suddenly a bolt of lightning struck me.

My subconscious made a comment to me. A very calm and seemingly innocent comment. Perhaps I’m just insane :-). That’s a much more comforting explanation at this point, it seems :-).

My subconscious revealed the metaphor guiding me these past months. And now I can come to no other conclusion than this reality is a form of dream. This idea is so overplayed in religion that it leaves a bad taste on my mouth to say it, but now I’ve seen it with my eyes… so I have no other choice but to admit it’s true.

Ok whoa whoa whoa. Hehehe. I am insane :-). Or maybe I just mind-fucked myself. I don’t know.

There is a deeper meaning behind our personal realities. Everything does happen for a reason.

Look… I don’t want to go into the realization I made, because it’s pretty personal, and I don’t feel like spilling my heart all over the internet for everyone to see :-P. I mean, I like you guys and everything, but not that much :-P. But I can break it down from another perspective that is understandable, now that I have some hindsight.

When I say that “reality is a form of dream”, what I’m talking about is how dreams have deeper meaning when looked at from a metaphorical perspective. So does this reality.

It’s very interesting to analyze your own dreams and see how things manifest. For example, dreaming of taking a shit can represent unloading emotional waste that’s built up inside of yourself, and be a sign of growth and psychological cleansing. So in real life, perhaps you are dealing with old problems that you feel need to be taken care of for you to move on, and tying up loose ends. As a result, one night you dream of taking a massive shit in a bathroom. You wake up thinking, “Now where did that come from? Very bizarre!” But there is an underlying meaning. It’s a metaphor.

So, what I’m saying is that this reality also has this same exact sort of deeper meaning. What we manifest in this reality is a reflection of who we are and what we are dealing with - just like in dreams. It’s a metaphor. This is what intention manifestation tries to talk about (but fails, I believe).

What I’m saying is that this reality uses the exact same metaphor function that dreams use. The exact same function. This is why this reality is a form of dream. This is also why intention manifestation actually produces results. It hijacks and focuses this metaphorical function of reality to produce an outcome.

I don’t know if I’m explaining this correctly or not. Maybe I’m not giving enough examples. Let me try again.

If you’re walking outside, what do you do if it suddenly starts to rain? Do you run for shelter? Do you pause and enjoy the sprinkles? Depending on your personal reality, this reaction means different things. If you run for shelter, perhaps you do this because you feel you need to run from your problems. Other problems you experience in life, you run from. Do you curse the weather? This might mean you feel you’re being treated unjustly by “God”. The weather could represent a system that is out of man’s control, and therefore only under the control of “God”. If it rains on you, you feel that “God” is unjustly making your life miserable, so you curse the rain. It’s a metaphor. Do you see how this is the same function as dreaming as well?

It’s all connected. All the ideas in your head, all the beliefs you hold, all the emotions you feel, all the experiences you have in this reality… it’s all connected.

I’m not saying that if you run from the rain, that you run from your problems. It depends on who you are as a person. Just like your dreams… if you dream about being in the bathroom, it might represent a time period where you need to do some psychological cleansing. But if you are a janitor for a living, then the idea of being in a bathroom would have a completely different meaning to you, since you probably clean a lot of bathrooms for a living. Perhaps it means it’s time to clean up someone else’s mess?

Ok… so anyways. The important part about this is that reality does this. The experiences you’ve had in your life have meaning. They happened for a reason. Think of it like a dream. What is the metaphor? What does it emotionally mean to you? Decode it like you would decode waking up from a bizarre dream.

Now I really do need to get to sleep. This realization has interrupted me :-P. I’ll probably read this in the morning and face-palm :-P.

I stumbled upon this movie: Zeitgeist Movie.com

It’s really interesting. If you have 2 hours, I definitely recommend it. Please post your responses in comments if you do decide to watch it :-).

I’ve read this book twice in the past month: As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen, published in 1902.

It’s a short book - the version I have is 52 pages long. But it’s a great read. Here are some quotes:

As the plant springs from, and could not be without, the seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them. This applies equally to those acts called “spontaneous” and “unpremeditated” as to those which are deliberately executed.

…

A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of groveling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of any mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.

…

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set.

…

A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.

…

The universe does not favor the greedy, the dishonest, the vicious, although on the mere surface it may sometimes appear to do so; it helps the honest, the magnanimous, the virtuous. All the great Teachers of the ages have declared this in varying forms, and to prove and know it a man has but to persist in making himself more and more virtuous by lifting up his thoughts.

…

Tempest-tossed souls, wherever ye may be, under whatsoever conditions ye may live, know this - in the ocean of life the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep you hand firmly upon the helm of thought. In the bark of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep; wake Him. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power. Say unto your heart, “Peace, be still!”

The entire book is like that. I like it!

First off - thanks for everyone’s comments. You guys present views that I wouldn’t be able to see otherwise, and it helps.

Let me summarize my previous post, now that I’ve had time to digest everything.

Intention manifestation is slightly flawed. It’s a good model overall, but there is a problem. The problem is that we believe that a “sense of knowing” causes our intention to manifest. Because of that belief, we design our exercises in ways to induce this “sense of knowing” within us. This is incorrect (although it can produce some limited results).

I believe intention manifestation made this problem because it saw that successful people had a “sense of knowing” before they succeeded, so we assumed this “sense of knowing” causes the success. This is a logical fallacy, called Post Hoc. Just because it came before doesn’t mean that it caused it.

One way to explain this is that something happened before the “sense of knowing” came. This something caused the “sense of knowing”, and it also caused the success. Another way to explain it is that something happened before the success, and we have a precognitive facility that sees the success happening, which causes the “sense of knowing”. There could be a million explanations, these are just two alternatives. Here’s a picture:

It is my current understanding that both alternate 1 and alternate 2 could be true at the same time, and that “something” is choice.

Now, I can dance around in the theoretical mind junk mumbo jumbo all I want… what actual changes are made with this altered perspective?

With intention manifestation, our goal is to induce the “sense of knowing”. We can do that with visualization, altering our beliefs, feeling the success, etc. All our techniques stem from inducing a “sense of knowing”. With the alternate ideas, our goal changes… now we need to figure out what that “something” is, and how to do it.

But all hope is not lost. It seems we might have more work to do, but not really. We have a pretty good hint - when we do that “something” correctly, we should experience a “sense of knowing”. Not FORCING it. We should naturally experience it.

So my new technique for winning the lottery has changed. Instead of repeating mantras in my mind about how I’ve won, I’m going to instead alter my number picking strategy. I tried this strategy on the last drawing and had minimal success (nothing crazy or definite). My new strategy is to write down numbers, and see if I feel a “sense of knowing” about them. When I focus on them, do I feel that the numbers are winners? Do I feel confident? Am I sure they will win?

If I don’t feel that confidence, then I tweak the numbers, and try again. And again. And again. Until I feel I’ve optimized my “sense of knowing”. Then I play those numbers.

I will try this new strategy for a month or two, and see how it goes.

READ: This is a huge post. I’m sorry - I can’t help myself - my thoughts must move! I realize that most people probably won’t read it all - that’s fine, I don’t expect anyone to. This post is more for my own documentation than it is to share my ideas with everyone. In a future post, I will condense this down into a more readable format. Until then, I need to document my thoughts before the next lottery drawing…

So anyways… I lost the lottery on June 15th, and it really pissed me off, and got me thinking. Look - there’s an important lesson here that needs to be learned by the majority of people on this planet. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong. It’s not reality’s fault - it’s mine. When your model of reality is incorrect, you DO NOT force reality to fit into your arbitrary mold. You change your model, and learn from your mistakes. That’s what this post is about.

I was wrong about intention manifestation. I believe intention manifestation is a very nice model of reality, but there are some flaws, and these flaws are holding me back. All models of reality have partial truths in them, so I must take what is true out of the intention manifestation model of reality, and create a new model that can help me win the lottery.

I was breaking the news to a friend of mine, and he responded that first I rejected randomness, and now I’m rejecting intention manifestation… what next? Perhaps I enjoy rejecting models of reality a little too much :-). Either way, I have an updated understanding (which will someday be replaced by yet another, I’m sure). On to version 3.0…

The realization I made originated in my second lottery adventure, which is documented in text and video. What sparked that experience was that I went to the store, and tried to force a win from the scratch off machine. And I failed. Being pissed, I decided to listen instead of forcing things, and documented one of my biggest wins on video as a result.

Where intention manifestation fails is that it gives you the sense that you can accomplish anything, as long as you believe it through and through. This is false. I hate to be a downer, and I hate to sound negative… but I have to conclude it’s false based on the evidence. Belief can help by filtering and aligning your perspective on reality - but belief alone can not create. All it does is change the filter, which can help you in finding opportunities, and things of that nature. With an open belief system, your eyes are more open to success. Belief is important - but belief alone does not do the creation.

Intention manifestation agrees with this mostly. Intention manifestation states that you have to have belief, but you also have to have feelings - you have to visualize and feel as though your goal is true in this moment. Intention manifestation states it’s more than just positive thinking… it’s more than just filtering your perspective. Adding emotions into the mix, and really FEELING it, will produce results. This is false.

Now you might jump out of your seat and yell - “Wait a second, you’ve been using intention manifestation to do all sorts of things, and you’ve gotten results! How can you say that intention manifestation is false?! You’ve used it and seen it with your own eyes!”

True enough. I have used intention manifestation to produce results that can’t be explained by simply altering your beliefs, and changing your filter. On the surface, it seems as though intention manifestation is true, and that’s whats so tricky about it. But we have to dig a little deeper.

The truth is that sometimes intentions come true, and sometimes they don’t. The truth is that sometimes we go through all the steps, and it just doesn’t work. Sometimes it does! And it’s awesome! But sometimes it doesn’t. So obviously we’re missing something in the equation. Some other factor that plays an important role, or some other understanding.

Hopefully I haven’t lost you just yet. Let me review everything, from the beginning, to clear up what I’m about to do.

Ok. So we have these models for reality. Everyone has models for reality in their own minds… we might call them “belief systems”, or “the way things are”, or “how things work”, or “religion” … etc. We all have an internal model of reality that we use in our minds.

Now there are some popular models that a lot of people share. For example, the skeptical/cynical model of reality (version 1.0). If I were to tell a skeptic that I plan on winning the lottery, they might respond that it is POSSIBLE for me to win… but in all likelihood, I won’t. They might use concepts found in statistics and probability to talk about how the world works, and how the lottery is designed to make a profit for the government. They might say that the lottery is the tax for the stupid. Stuff like that. This is all in their model of reality. Now the skeptic usually has trouble telling the difference between actual reality, and the model of reality in their head. They think they see reality perfectly clear, and usually have a hard time admitting that they just might be wrong. They haven’t made the distinction that it’s simply a model in their own mind. But that’s ok, we can forgive them for now.

In the New Age and Personal Development circles, we have the intention manifestation model of reality (version 2.0). If I tell people who subscribe to this model that I plan on winning the lottery, most would probably cheer me on saying that it’s certainly possible if I do what intention manifestation tells me to do. Some people might argue that because I’m getting “something for nothing”, that I will fail, because I don’t have a noble cause. But most would probably admit that it’s possible. They would tell me that I have to really believe that I can win, and that I have to meditate and visualize myself winning, and feel all the emotions associated with that. Really put myself in the moment and feel like a winner. Feel like I just won. See it in my mind so clearly that it becomes superimposed on my subconscious mind, and transmitted out to the universe to attract it using “vibrations” and such. Ok.

Now, those are just two models of reality. Sure, they are each interesting in their own right, and they each have a body of literature and history. They each have truths that can’t be denied. But both of them are still just models of reality made by humans… they inherently have faults in them. The trick is to separate yourself from the model you hold in your mind. Don’t become attached to the model - become attached to reality. Reality is the judge. Not the model in your mind. Reality determines what is possible, and what isn’t possible. Not your human understanding. So we must constantly evolve our own internal models based on what we observe in reality. We might not be able to create a 100% perfect model, but that’s ok. We just need to be flexible enough to modify our model when the situation calls for it. We need to be willing to change.

So… my interest in the lottery was sparked by internalizing the realization that the skeptical/cynical model of reality (version 1.0, dealing with probability and statistics) isn’t entirely true. There is a vital flaw in this model. I outline the flaw in three posts on this website, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. If you don’t want to read all those, I will summarize the flaw briefly here.

The flaw with the skeptical/cynical model of reality is that it can’t explain how people win the lottery twice. It simply can’t. Now, if you think that it can explain it, then I encourage you to take classes in probability and statistics to truly understand what our modern views of reality tell us about someone winning the lottery twice. If you grasp probability and statistics correctly, then there is only one conclusion to make: people should never win the lottery twice. Yet, people do. So we must admit that the skeptical/cynical model is incorrect.

Now we reach another crossroad. Reality is not behaving as the intention manifestation model states that it should. Just like reality doesn’t behave like the skeptical/cynical model says it should. What is our response? Modify our model of reality. We are forced to reject intention manifestation, the same way we were forced to reject modern ideas of probability and statistics.

When we rejected probability and statistics, we didn’t reject everything. We can’t. A lot of probability and statistics is completely correct and accurate! I would say probably 99% of it :-). But there is a vital flaw. Probability and statistics rely on the existence of the concept of randomness. However, it is my understanding that randomness does not exist. Therefore, while probability and statistics are great tools, we have to realize what they are doing. They are not modeling random numbers. They are modeling choice. Making that simple correction does not undermine all the work that’s gone into the fields of probability and statistics. It simply tweaks it slightly to more accurately fit reality - and it works.

Now that we’re rejecting intention manifestation, we have to realize that a lot of intention manifestation is completely correct. But we need to tweak again. We need to observe reality, and realize where the holes are in our model. Then we need to patch the holes, and use this modified model of reality to accomplish our goals. If reality throws experiences at us that contradict our modified model (which will certainly happen at some point), then we will be forced to tweak again.

So - where does intention manifestation fail?

It fails when we try to manifest something, following the instructions correctly, and it doesn’t work. Our goal isn’t accomplished. We experienced the feelings, we did the visualization, we focused, felt good, believed… and then nothing. No results. Instead of beating ourselves up, let’s beat up intention manifestation :-).

Let’s try to understand how humans created intention manifestation to begin with. We were pretty smart about it… What we did was go around, and interview and talk to all these successful people. We asked them, “How did you do it? What is your story? What made you succeed where everyone else failed?” This is a great idea! Asking questions is a brilliant idea.

Successful people responded with their stories. And a lot of these stories had things in common. So, being the smart human race that we are, we looked at the patterns. We noticed that a lot of successful people had a burning desire to succeed. And this desire consumed their thoughts. We noticed that a lot of successful people believed they would succeed before they did - even when they logically shouldn’t have believed it. We noticed that this burning desire and belief were the very things that made them succeed. Story after story, we noticed that it was this burning desire and belief that got these people through the tough times, and allowed them to create opportunities for them, that led to success. Amazing!

So, after we noticed this, we proclaimed: Successful people had a burning desire and unwavering belief before they were successful. If you want to be successful, you need a burning desire and unwavering belief. Tada!

This idea is outlined in hundreds of books, the most popular of which is undoubtedly Napoleon Hill’s, Think and Grow Rich, published in 1937. A lot of books influenced the creation of the intention manifestation model of reality, but it is my opinion that this book is one of the major ones.

Over time, the intention manifestation model has evolved into what we see presented today, by programs like “The Secret“, and all the other ripoffs. It has evolved from this idea of burning desire and belief, into visualization and feeling your goal is already achieved.

So where is the mistake? Where is the flaw?

I will tell you. It’s very clear to me now that I have hindsight. The flaw is that we think belief, expectation, and feelings cause our goal to be accomplished. This is incorrect.

This is the mistake that we made. We saw that successful people have strong beliefs, and having this sense of “knowing” that they would succeed, before they actually succeeded. This sense of “knowing” is very important - and anyone who has applied intention manifestation knows specifically what it is. This sense of simply knowing that your goal WILL be accomplished. You just know. The mistake that we made is thinking that this sense of knowing caused the goal to be accomplished.

It’s actually a pretty normal mistake that we make all the time. The cynics have solved this problem already for us (hey, what can I say, I owe you a beer :-P). It’s a logical fallacy, called Post Hoc. We noticed that this sense of knowing came before the success, so we assumed this sense of knowing caused the success. Incorrect. Just because it came before does not mean that it caused it.

Our techniques for intention manifestation are based on the idea that we need to induce this sense of knowing. We need to alter our beliefs. We need to create a burning desire. We need to make ourselves believe. We need to convince ourselves that our goal is accomplished. Once we do that, we will have our sense of knowing. And once we have this sense of knowing, then success will follow.

But now we have to reconcile the fact that people can brainwash a sense of knowing in themselves, and the goal still isn’t accomplished. How do you reconcile that? All you intention manifestation people out there reading this… how do you explain how a person can believe 100%, feel it, visualize it, get into it… and then fail? You can’t. Not with the intention manifestation model. It’s time for a new model.

We run into some tension here, because some people might fear that if intention manifestation is incorrect, then we must downgrade to the skeptical/cynical model of reality. Hey, don’t beat yourself up too bad. We don’t have to move in that direction. We can create a new model that incorporates everything we’ve learned. And since our new model is going to be based on personal experience and open mindedness, we’ll be sure to include everything we possibly can, which will in turn help us to accomplish our goals even faster than before.

So now that we know the history of all this bullshit, what is our new model going to be? I propose version 3.0, the choice model :-). Please be aware that I didn’t come up with this all on my own. My current understanding is a result of reading, experimenting, discussing, and stealing ideas from other smart people (one good location for that is Steve’s forum on intention manifestation).

(This is a long post, I’m sorry. I want to get this down on paper before the next lottery drawing, even if that means no one will read the entire post :-P.)

My current understanding is that choice is the root to achieving a goal. This choice is made before the goal is actually manifested, ranging anywhere from a few microseconds, to decades. When this choice is made, we feel a sense of knowing that the goal will be accomplished. Perhaps this sense of knowing comes from a precognitive facility in our minds that actually sees the goal being accomplished - I’m not sure.

What I want to point out is that this choice has a supernatural quality about it that creates the reality we will someday experience. This isn’t simply a normal decision that we experience all the time… this choice is on a different level. English doesn’t have the vocabulary for it.

Ok, look. This isn’t your normal decision. I’m not sure if I can explain it to someone whose never made a decision like this before. To people who have used intention manifestation, you’ve already done it, and you can probably understand what I’m getting at. There comes a point when you say to yourself, “I AM going to do this. Period.” And that sentence alone isn’t what’s so powerful about it. It’s all the emotion… it’s every cell in your body saying “YES” to this. It is a true decision, a real choice. Not the wishy-washy crap that we do daily. It’s the type of choice that makes you slam your fist down on the table, stand up tall, and stare reality in it’s eye. It’s not anger, it’s not fear, it’s not happiness, it’s not joyfulness. It’s the raw emotion of “am”. “To be”. I AM going to do this.

That’s where the power is. It’s not about good or bad, or noble, or evil. It’s raw “YES”. It’s raw “GO”. This is the emotion that is the root to the burning desire. This is the emotion that is the root to belief. To the sense of knowing. This emotion - this choice - is the origin. Maybe you’ve never made a decision like this before, but you’ve probably seen someone make this decision. To look in their eye, and see their resolve. It’s almost like their decision convinces you. You don’t know how they’re going to accomplish their goal, but just by looking at them you know they are going to.

It’s not stubbornness, though it might look a little similar. It’s different. Stubbornness is forceful in nature… this type of decision that I’m describing really isn’t forceful. It’s self-evident. It’s true because it’s true. Stubbornness shuts down your mind… this type of decision opens your mind up. That’s one way to tell the difference.

When you make a decision like this, the world moves. Shit that’s in your way gets out of your way. Shit you need to experience starts to bee-line in your direction.

Now - there are different degrees, which is important to realize. It’s not all about emotion, even though that’s the picture I painted above. Emotion does help though. We can throw all the emotion out the window, and still be left with this choice. However, if you want to make the choice consciously, it would probably be in your best interest to use emotion to help you.

It’s about existence. It’s about being. It’s not inducing a sense of knowing… it’s behind that. Once you hit it, you feel a sense of knowing. Don’t identify it as the sense of knowing - that’s where intention manifestation made it’s mistake. It’s behind the sense of knowing. It’s the root.

Intention manifestation points us in the right direction, which is why it’s successful. But it fails because it’s not precise. It gets us in the right area, but it misses the exact location. We may stumble upon the exact location while using intention manifestation, but only because it’s in such close proximity. These are the times when we succeed. Other times, we are still in the same ballpark, but we fail because we didn’t precisely hit where we need to be.

I’m not sure if I’m explaining it correctly. Sometimes my mind gets carried away… let me try again :-P.

Ultimately, it is a choice. Wash away the extra bullshit, and you’re left with a choice. Now, in reality, we have a real hard time washing away the extra bullshit :-P. So we have to deal with the bullshit instead. That’s where things start getting hard to understand. Everyone has different stuff piled on their consciousness, so we all have different things to deal with when it comes to making this choice. It’s tough to get through and make the choice, because there’s so much crap. That’s why we have techniques, methods, exercises, models, ideas, discussions, growth, etc.

Look, if you believe that you can’t win the lottery, then that is extra bullshit piled on your consciousness that needs to be dealt with before you can win the lottery. But it’s not even that simple. If that’s all you had to deal with, then that would be easy! In reality, we have miles of shit to wade through. A simple belief that you can’t win is just an ounce.

Here, let me draw a picture:

Alrighty!

All hope is not lost… yet :-P.

My point is that we have a lot of stuff that goes on inside of our head that stops us from making these powerful choices all the time. The intention manifestation model does a pretty good job of cutting through a lot of that shit, but it’s not good enough. We can accomplish a lot of wonderful things with intention manifestation, but it falls short when it comes to winning the lottery. We might be able to use intention manifestation to win the lottery, but there is a better way.

I failed to win the lottery this past time because I focused on inducing a sense of knowing, assuming that it was the sense of knowing that created the success. This is false, hence I failed.

Now that I see that this supernatural choice is my goal, I know where to aim. And I’ll know when I get it, because I’ll feel a sense of knowing.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

What does it all mean?!

It means I’m changing my strategy for picking lottery numbers. In the past, I just picked random numbers while filling out the lottery sheet. This method may produce a win, but I want to be smarter about it. My new method is to write down lottery numbers on paper, and examine my “sense of knowing” about them. Then tweak the numbers over and over again, until I find my maximum “sense of knowing”. Then play those numbers.

This “sense of knowing” is something that needs to be polled. It needs to be examined and used. NOT FORCED. Not induced. It’s already in us, so let’s use it! I’m much more confident with this strategy than my strategy in the past, and it feels much more correct.

We shall see where it leads.

If you’ve made it this far, amazing. I really didn’t expect anyone to read this entire post. You must be bored :-). Like I said at the start, I intend on making a much more smaller version of this post in the future. I simply didn’t have the time, and I wanted to get my ideas out before the next lottery drawing. If you’ve skipped to the end, then you’re a lousy cheater! JERK! :-P. Anyways… this post took three days to write. And my thoughts are still bouncing around. They will eventually settle down. Thanks! See ya.

I had an out of body experience this morning. I haven’t had one in forever. This has been the longest stretch I’ve gone without having one (10 months according to my records), and it felt pretty good to get out briefly.

I didn’t get to explore or anything, unfortunately. I was mostly stuck in my body. I could get out for a little bit, but then I would get yanked back. A pretty standard OBE for me… it’s how most of them go. It’s annoying to read about other people’s OBEs, and see how much fun they have. Mine consist of me floating a few feet from my body, then getting yanked back. Lather, rinse, repeat. Not terribly exciting.

Of course it is cool just to have an OBE in general… even if I can’t get that far away from my body. Nonetheless, I do wish I could do more exploring. Oh well.

Locations!

1. Bed in NY home (both orientations)
2. Keith’s house in NY
3. Scott’s house in NY
4. Jason’s house in NY
5. House in Buford, my room
6. Hotel room for Dianne’s Publix thing
7. Apt 94
8. Dorm room in FL
9. Dianne’s apt in SC
10. Grandma’s FL room (twice)
11. House in Buford, the couch
12. Dorm room in MD
13. Second dorm room in MD
14. Third dorm room in MD
15. Apartment in MD

Most readers probably don’t understand, so I’ll explain everything:

An out of body experience (OBE) is when you perceive your consciousness outside of your physical body. Some people prematurely understand it as floating around like a ghost… that’s an extremely extremely simplified explanation. Things are a LOT more complicated than that. But if this is your first time hearing about OBEs, that might be a good place to start.

I started training OBEs when I was 15 years old. It took me 6 months of training before I accomplished my first OBE, when I was 16. Ever since then, I’ve had OBEs randomly… usually at about once or twice a month. They usually come in spurts, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I have another OBE tonight, since I just had one this morning.

Now, a logical guy would probably say: “Well, maybe it’s a hallucination? Or dream? How do you know it’s REAL?” To answer that question: immediately, I don’t know. And I can’t tell. Most OBEs are very strange… the state of mind is like nothing we normally experience. It’s not a dream state of mind… it’s not a normal waking state of mind… it’s just weird.

But we can be smart about it. For example, most dreams that we have take place in foreign locations. I have dreams about being in malls, in houses, in cities, in school, etc. But OBEs always start in the location where my physical body is at. This is so consistent, that I keep track of all the locations where I’ve had an OBE - which is what the list is above. Those are all the different locations where I’ve had an OBE. One notable location is #6. We were staying in a hotel for one night in South Carolina, and I had an OBE there. I had never visited the hotel, and I’ll likely never visit it again. In my opinion, that is strong evidence that OBEs are more real than dreams. What are the odds I would have a dream of that location the very night that I was sleeping in it, and fool myself into thinking it was an OBE?

What really convinced me that OBEs are real is this experience. In it, I perceived a “black plastic washer” on the ground. Later, when I woke up and checked, it was actually a black guitar pick. This proved to me that I was perceiving reality when I left my body, because I had no clue that my guitar pick was in the location where I correctly perceived it.

Different people have different beliefs on what OBEs are. It isn’t clear cut. A lot of OBEs contain hallucinations, and merge into dreams. It’s not simple. But there are some key features of OBEs which separate them from dreams, and which prove that they are more real than dreams, as outlined above. If you want to read about more proof, then I suggest reading Robert Monroe’s, Journey’s Out of the Body. Monroe’s work could convince some of the toughest skeptics.

When I decided to shut down PsiPog (my old paranormal website), my OBEs stopped. I think it was because I was telling myself that I was done with that part of my self, and it was time to grow and change. Now that I’ve settled down 10 months later, and am starting to hack reality again, I’ve had an OBE. I suspect I’ll start having them consistently again.

I would recommend everyone train for OBEs. While it’s true that my OBEs are usually dull, I have had some really thrilling ones. And just the experience in general is really amazing. To turn around, and see your physical body laying in bed… it’s scary, it’s disturbing :-), but it’s also awesome. I have no doubt that I’m more than my physical body, and that I’m going to survive the death of my body. And it doesn’t have anything to do with faith. I KNOW it. I’ve SEEN it. Having that sense of certainty has made it worth the effort.

EDIT: In other news… I lost this round. I hate losing. I mean… sure, I only lost $1, so it’s no big deal. But it pisses me off.

I got zero numbers correct.

Why does this piss me off? Because I know I can win. I know I can. But I can’t reconcile the fact that I’m losing. I mean, if I look at the numbers, I’m winning overall. I’m still making a profit over the months I’ve been playing, and I’m shattering the mathematical odds. Blah blah blah. No jackpot though. Profit is nice, but it’s not my goal. My goal is the jackpot.

I am going to win. Each loss adds energy to my win.

Bloody hell. I know exactly how I’m going to go about it as well. I know exactly where I’m making my “mistake”, if you want to call it that. The solution is murky, but the “mistake” is clear as day.

If they can do it, I can do it. If I can do it, then I will do it. Simple as that.

So I had a lucid dream last night. Before I continue, I’d like to point out that the MegaMillions Jackpot is at $45 million - the amount I require before I start playing. Back to my dream…

Before I fell asleep, I told myself that I wanted to have a lucid dream so I could investigate the lottery. Maybe get some numbers, or some techniques… something. Seemed like a good idea.

I became lucid a few hours into sleeping, during the beginning of a long period of dreaming. I knew I had a lot of time to kill before I would wake up (as long as I didn’t excite myself too much), and decided to get some answers about the lottery. I was inside a huge Victorian house that was also partly a mall, and there were tons of people around me.

I started by grabbing the next available person, and asking them, “How do I win the lottery?” They said they didn’t know. I asked another person. They didn’t know. I went up to another person, and declared that they would be representing my subconscious mind. I asked them how to win… they had a slightly longer response that boiled down to not knowing.

I left the area I was in, pretty frustrated. I saw some children playing, and asked them what they were doing. They said they represented different parts of myself - different characteristics. I asked them how to win the lottery - I asked them for numbers, and for techniques to try. They didn’t know.

By this time I was getting a little frustrated. I began searching for someone who should know, instead of asking random strangers. I would see someone and scoff them away, because I knew they wouldn’t know. Person by person… I floated downstairs, partly surfing on the banister (hey, I was lucid, might as well have some fun :-P). I turned a corner and saw a religious black man, who looked like a shaman.

I made friends with him and asked him how to win the lottery. He told me he didn’t know of the top of his head, but he knew where we could find out. He said he could look it up for me (in a book?), and to follow him. So I did.

We winded around the house, going all over, and eventually found the stairs to the basement. We went down, but it wasn’t a basement - it was the outdoors. It was shifting between night time, and day time, in the matter of a few seconds. He started doing some ritual, and the stars in the sky started to move. He told me he would find out by reading the stars. I told him I thought he was going to use books in a library - he said he could do that too, but that we could also use the stars. I said ok.

I watched him manipulate the stars into weird patterns. They rotated around the sky as he “read” them. I tried to read them too, but I didn’t get it. Unfortunately, I had been lucid for an extremely long time at this point (perhaps 15 minutes), and my lucidity started to fade.

While he was manipulating the stars, a women offered us some food samples. Cakes, brownies, and chocolates, and stuff like that. At first I said no, because I wanted to only eat healthy food, but then I realized it was ok because it was a dream. While eating the food, I became distracted, and lost my lucidity. After that, myself and the shaman forgot about the stars, and got stuck in these narrow tubes in the yard. Lucidity was gone, and I forgot about my lottery goal. No results.

I find that my dream characters are worthless when it comes to usable information. In the past, I have asked them for help on different topics, and they always fail to provide anything substantial. I remember one time, while lucid, I decided to track down a “psychokinetic master” and ask him techniques. When I found him, and asked him, all he gave me was a simple chakra meditation. Another time, I was lucid and asked to speak to my subconscious. A man walked up to me, but it quickly turned into helping someone with a drug addiction (that doesn’t exist). Another time I also asked to speak to my subconscious - the receptionist told me I’d have to call him. After finally getting a hold of my subconscious on the phone after some trickery, nothing was beneficial.

And most of the time in my dreams, all the dream characters do is try to convince me I’m not dreaming. What a waste. I’m lucid - I know I’m dreaming.

I also asked about the lottery when I first started playing. My dream gave me numbers…. 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 3. Needless to say, they didn’t win.

I wonder how people have precognitive dreams. While my dreams are fun and useful in self-discovery, they always fail at helping figure out things about reality.

Bah.

I’m not Christian, but that doesn’t mean I reject the entire bible. Galatians 6:7 is a keeper.

My mom’s ex-husband (my ex-step-dad) was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas and liver. The doctors told him he has about 2 months to live without treatment, or 3 months to live with treatment. He chose treatment.

He has two daughters, and they live out of state. They flew into state to visit him, but while in state decided that they would rather hang out with their friends who they haven’t seen in a while. They didn’t have time to see him.

Now that is sad. I don’t know how you cut it up, but that is just plain old sad.

I feel bad for my ex-step-dad. But I can’t deny that he’s reaping what he sowed. I still feel bad though.

I suppose his time has come. He’s lived a dishonest life. And now he leaves this world prematurely with broken relationships. It’s such a simple lesson, but it’s so powerful.

I try to do what’s right. I try to be honest, I try not to steal, or cheat. I’m not perfect, but I make a conscious effort to do what’s right in difficult situations. A lot of times it’s hard to tell if doing what’s right is actually a good decision. If everyone around you is doing what’s wrong, and you can’t see any immediate downside… then it’s tough. But man - let me tell you - doing what’s right is right for a reason. You reap what you sow. I see it clearly now.

I’ve only seen people reap extremely negative things a half-dozen times in my life. Reality is very forgiving. But if you keep making bad decisions, relying on Reality’s forgiveness for your existence… you will be in a world of hurt when Reality says enough is enough. My ex-step-dad lied to everyone he knew his entire life. He cheated on his multiple wives. He managed to borrow time from Reality for quite a while… but now Reality is cashing in.

It is sad. But what’s sad is that the only way for him to learn was to bring it to this extreme. If Reality has forgivin you, I highly recommend taking the easy lesson, before Reality decides to bitch-slap the lesson into your skull.

How do I use my own psychic skills in my daily life?  Hmm…

The first thing to realize is that everyone is psychic.  We use our psychic abilities all the time.

The second thing to realize is that when we use our psychic abilities, we don’t go out of our way to do it.  It’s part of our thinking process, and happens in harmony with our other normal functions - like memory, emotion, associations, etc.

We have to sort of step outside of societies limiting ideas, and look at reality.  Reality doesn’t distinguish between a psychic skill, and some other mental skill.  It’s all where you want to be, doing what you want to do.  Reality doesn’t monitor your mind, saying, “Oh, now Sean is using a psychic skill… cool”.  It’s just me being me.  And you being you.  It’s natural.

Even saying that some function is a “psychic ability” is a little incorrect.  I mean - what if I ask you, “When did you use your memory today?”  How do you answer that question?  Well, first you have to use your memory to think back on today… so there’s one :-P.  Then you might think of conversations you had with people, and think back to a point in that conversation when you used your memory… which is pretty much every 3 seconds :-P.  It’s just as hard to answer, “When did you use your psychic abilities today?”  Every 3 seconds I use them, in whatever way my mind needs at the moment.

For example, when writing the beginning of this post, I instinctively asked my subconscious how to phrase certain parts, and asked for clarification on ideas.  Before I started writing, I asked my subconscious if I should write a post today, and also checked the date of my last post.  Then I remembered reading a comment asking about how I use my subconscious on a daily basis.  I debated whether writing this post, then decided to start, partly because I felt confident that my subconscious would help me if I ran into trouble explaining something.

Maybe I’m at work, and reading a book.  There is a psychic function for reading a book, it almost feels like… it’s more than just reading over letters on a page - it’s a transfer of ideas and beliefs.  It’s a two-way conversation with the author.  If I want, I can see the author in front of me, explaining his or her ideas to me.  I can see them animated and excited during - what they feel - are the important parts.  I can ask questions, and get answers.  I can ask for clarification, or examples.

I can see the thoughts that led up to the authors point of view.  I can see how they think.  I can see the environment the author lives in.  I can see the difficulties they’ve experienced.  I can see the realizations they’ve attained, and the obstacles they’ve overcome.  Is this “psychic”?   Reality is one big blur - how do you draw a line in liquid?

Now - we can practice psychic abilities, and make them stronger and more accurate.  The same way we can exercise our memory, or muscles, or learn a song on guitar, or play chess.  Whatever you focus on gets stronger.  But you do need to realize that the distinction between one skill or another is just in your head.  Whatever your goals are, there is a cost in an amount of focus you need to spend to acquire them.  If you want to be a rock star, then you better spend a lot of your focus on playing guitar.  If you want to receive psychic information, then you better spend a lot of your focus on meditation and receptiveness.  If you want to acquire truth, then you better spend a lot of your focus on self-realization, and inward digging.

When people ask me how I use psychic abilities on a daily basis, these are where my thoughts go.